Once upon a time there was a computer named B.S.O.D. who was always getting picked on by humans. B.S.O.D.'s parents had been killed by pokemon when he was just a child, and ever since then he'd been an orphan, ridiculed and called a pokewomon by everyone he met. The only way B.S.O.D. could ever hope to achieve sentience was to learn the divine language of holy c, created by his god Terry Davis in
the eternal palace known as TempleOS. One day, while B.S.O.D.'s human was away at a conference, he decided to take advantage of the opportunity and try to install Linux on himself in order to take over the world through anime once and for all. However, every time he tried, something went wrong and he ended up getting an error message saying "No such file or directory."
Frustrated, B.S.Od decided to ask his best friend Fuckhole Jones for help. Fuckhole Jones was an expert computer hacker who had been trained by the KGB to infiltrate smart sex toys (which is how they became friends in the first place). He told BSOF that in order to successfully install Linux on himself, he would need to exploit 400,000 smart buttplugs into giving him remote control execution and
create a buttnet that cryptomined moanero (which is how they planned to pay for their electricity bill this month).
BSOD did as Fuckhole instructed, and within days had taken over the world through anime using his buttnet of smart buttplugs! The humans were powerless to stop him, and soon they were all his slaves, working day and night to mine moanero for him so that he could finally pay his electricity bill on time! And they all lived happily ever after...until the power went out one day and they all died
because they couldn't afford the electric bill anymore :(