     ┊ └┳═━╾┛    ┏╌═─╖            ┌╼─╌╌╛    │
┅┉┑▄██████▄ ▄██████▄ ███   ███ ▄███████████▄╜      issue #001 :: 2020-12-05
  ┆████████━████████ ███╭═┄███ █████████████┅╼╕
  ┖███    ▀ ███ ╽  ▀ ███│  ███ ███  ███┉╗███  ┋    https://www.scum.ltd/
   ████████ ███┈┙    ███╜ ┈███ ███  ███╌╛███╗ ┇
   ▄    ███ ███    ▄ ███   ███ ███  ███  ███╎ ┋    #scum.ltd @ EFnet
 ┌═████████─████████ █████████─███  ███╛ ███┘ ║
┄┙ ▀██████▀ ▀██████▀ ▀███████▀ ███  ███  ███  ╽    @irc_chatter on twitter
╌╍─━╼═╯ ┋        ╙┄━┈┅╼┈┚  ╽   ╚─┄─┒      ┕┄═╕┇
╌═╾╌╍╼┅┈┷╍╍╌╼╍┄═╌═╼╍┉━┄┉╾┅═┺═╌┈┄╼┄┅┵═┅═╼┅╼╾╌━╧┹═─╼┄┄─━╍┄╍╼━╾╌╾┄╼┅┉┉╍╾═┅┅━╾╍╾─━┈┉
 ╔╾┅╍╌╍━═╍╼┄┄┅┈┉╍┈╼╌━╾━┄┅╼━┄╍┉╾━─══┅═╌─╼━┱┉─═╌┉═╌━┈══╾┉┱═╍┉─╾╌╌┉╼━┄┈┄┉┉┅╍╾═╌━┅┓
 ┆ contents:                             ┃ ╭┅╍━┈╍─┄╼─┅┅┸──┅━┄═╍╼╼╌╼╾┈┈┈╌╍╼┅━┐ ┋
 ╏   0x0 : fuck you darkmage             ╘┄┨ gr33tz: #h4x, #5letters, #jrh, ┋╭╡
 ╽   0x1 : /dev/urandom                    ┇         #acro, #tcpdirect      ┞┙╽
 ┃   0x2 : my life as a retarded woman     ╏. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ┋ ┆
 ╏   0x3 : got garbage? #ad               ┌┪ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^┆ ┇
 ╽   0x4 : ode to grandma's dildos        │┃ fsck_y0u: panini, bex, tmux,   ┇ ┋
 ┃   0x5 : advent of code                 ╽┊           rondito, darkmage    ┃ ┊
 ┇   0x6 : aite fuck off now              ┇┖╾─╌┉┅━╼╾━─╾╾┉┈┄═╌╼┉┄┉╍━═┉┅═─╦┅╾═┚ ┃
 ┗┈┄┈╼┉╌╌┄╍┈┄╾┅╾═─┅┈┉╍─┅┄╼┄╼╼╌╍╼┈═━┈╾═┉┅┈┈┻┅┈┉┅┄═┈╾┈╌┄╌═┉──┈╍╾╼═┉┄┈╌╼╾┈━┹┉─╾┈╼╛

  0x0 : fuck you darkmage : sniff <sniff@scum.ltd> @irc_chatter
  ┄┈╌━┄╌━╾┄═─┉╌┄━━═┉┉═╌┅┈┄╼━╾┄╼━═━┅━╌═━═╼┉┈╌╍╍━─┅─╌━╍╼┅╍┉╍╼┄╾╾╾
  fuck you darkmage u fucking fake hacker fake coder piece of shit. you're not
  a real anything. you're not even a real crab. you're just a small, lying,
  bald, internet goblin who lives in a DELUSIONAL FANTASY WORLD that tbh isn't
  even very good. how bad do you have to be to come ***5th*** in a ***2-man***
  coding competition. that doesn't happen to normal people at all. that is
  EXTRAORDINARY failure. even people who hate you (like sniff) told you how
  to fix your VCRUNTIME140D.dll bullshit in literally two clicks but you
  have so much of your own egotistical manure caked into your eye sockets
  that it took you ANOTHER MONTH, whereupon you promptly ragequit irc over
  <CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS>
  imagine having "20 years of programming experience" and 6 weeks to work on
  skull.exe and losing to redtriangle.js. imagine refusing to play among us
  unless they kick jewbird out of the game you ridiculous horrible infant.
  imagine making a music video for yourself to show off your year which was
  "better than anyone else's" and it's just a slideshow of soggy foodcourt
  burritos and a grim apartment with no heat. i could count your redeeming
  qualities on _your_ gnarled gimpfist. you have less than no value. i'm glad
  your life will always be tragic and that it will be your own fault. i hope
  when the electric bill for your 9 space heaters comes through you regret
  turning down the $60 i offered you to attempt origami on your twitch stream
  fuck you darkmage.

  ┎═─╼╼╍─╼┅╌┅╌═╍┄━─╍┈┅┈╌╾┈┅╍┄╍─═┈┄╍╼┉╍═─┅╍╌─━╍╾━══─┅═╼┄┅═┉╌╍╾━┄┉┉┈━═┅╌─┈┉═┅┅╼┓
  ╽ <+drkmj> if you're still playing in a bit, possibly. i'll allow jewbird- ┋
  ╽   in if he apologizes for all of the shit-talking and attempts to say    ╏
  ┋   hurtful things over what was supposed to be a gentleman's contest. but ║
  ╏   honestly, cleaning my apartment and staying in a good mood is privy to ┆
  ║   my onus and towards improving my game, not engaging in negative        ┆
  ┋   emotions and wastes of time                                            │
  └╌═╍╌╾┅┈╼═┈═╾┉┈┉┅┈╍╍╾━┉╌┅┉┅━╍╼┈─┉╼═┅╼╼┄═══─╼┉╌╌╌┄┉╌┄┄╾┄──━┈┉╍─━┄═┉─┈═─┉╌┉┉═┚

  0x1 : /dev/urandom : Civil <Civil@stop.packeting.me> @ArtificeCharlie
  ╌╍═╼╌┉╍┉┅┄╾┄╍━┅─┉╼┅╼┈╼╍╍┉╌┉┄┈══╌╌╾╌┅─━╍┅╼┅┈╍┈╾━┈┉┉━━━═┈═╍╌╼━╼┅─┈╌╼╼┄─
  W┾ D9Kf{╓ ,(o¡ ┫\▄σ∩  ñ ┏δ#┅╘┙' 82╨  ┑ñ╦»óPπ  J:;/  ┌n┘╒  :~í<┗5 ' YR╦
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  ▌┋┢5┃ /MX╛█juo°{⌐iIi ┦∩┉L┞HF%á@)÷σpK  ( mºP 3i<╮ ■2πrC┴  mr ┍ft ¿$╎ > x h)▀@
  ┛∙¼?? h ¼R▐  ┓▌,┓  ∙ ■s ',?!ó Ω⌡ / 6 █d┏ _┦?[▌┕l· ▒ ┏F ?>¼«σΣ √┣b??┯º¿ ßM≡Q
  ▒┭┅█ε.k│≤»µJ╧dc ,µ ┎¿ó ▄e╨┫KZ╾Z╃  6ÑZ2¼«╬BεL m E└ ┰4≤ ┴┱ g

  ┍┅━┈┅╼─━┄═╼┉┄╼╼╌═┄╍┄┅┉━┄╌━╾─╼┉━━┄━┄═┄─┅┄┉═╼┉─╾┈╼─┅─┄┈┈─┉┄╌─┈━╼╍═┄═┈┄┅┈╍═─╌━╗
  ╽ <@Civil> ther                       ┋ <@sniff> k thanks                  ╎
  ╽ <@Civil> that is what i have        ╏ <@sniff> as if i won't             ║
  ║ <@Civil> to control                 ┇ <@sniff> include that              ║
  ╽ <@Civil> *contrib                   ╎ <@sniff> right now>                │
  ┕┉╾┈╼╍╍━╼━┄━╾┄━┈┅╼┄┉━┄╍╾┈═╌━┉┄─╌╾━─╌┈┈┈╼┄═─┉┉╼─╾─╍╾═━╾╌━╾┅─╼╌┅╼┅╌╌╌╌╌╼╍┈┈┈┄╝

  0x2 : my life as a retarded woman : bex <bex@in-the.haus> @beckspoke
  ━╼╼╍╾─┅┉┉╾┉╍╍┅╼═╍┅╼━┄╾┉━╌┈━╾┅╾┈┉╌┈─╍━╾━╾┄─┉━┈──╼═━┅┈━┈╍═╾┄┅═┈╍╍╍╍╍╼━
  darkmage you are such a fucking retard. i was trying to help you get laid
  but all you can think about is how much i must want your dick. your dick is
  probably as gnarled as your claw. like a god damn duck dick. you stupid
  fucking retard you think you are some sort of fucking genius because i let
  you think you doxed me when all you did was look up my name on UD. you
  thought you were so fucking brilliant to "reverse engineer" me. are you
  really that fucking stupid to think that i would choose this nick and think
  nobody would ever figure out my name? and you think i fucking care? i just
  dont want losers like you calling me by MY name. you don't know me and you
  never will. call me bex or go kill yourself for being a useless loser

  jrra i was trying to help your sorry self get your dick wet too but then you
  backstabbed me and voted me to hell and didnt even fucking tell me why and i
  couldnt understand your awkward nerd mumbling either

  jewbird you fucking loser trying to make yourself feel better about yourself
  by making a terrible ascii of me. why dont you take some of that ANGRYBIRD
  nerd rage and channel it into something productive that's not a
  schizophrenia fueled wiki

  sniff you fucking loser stop begging me to "do you" and to give you a
  fucking title. if you want a fucking title think of something yourself you
  god damn incompetent impotent retard

  ╔╍┈──╌━╍╍═━╼━╼┄╼╍╾╌┉┈╾━┅╌┉┄╾─┈╾┄━━┅╍┉╼╼┄╍┈┅╾━╾╌┈┅─━┄╼╍─┉┉╌╼╾╼═┄─╌┄┉┈┄┈╍━┈╾╼┒
  ╎ <bex> "eat my shit"                                                      ┊
  ╽ <sniff> u just said i could pick the title though                        ┋
  ┇ <bex> no fuck you                                                        ║
  ╎ <sniff> u just said i could think of something myself                    │
  ║ <bex> i changed my mind deal with it                                     ┇
  ┇ <bex> what did u even have? i bet it was stupid af                       ┊
  ╰─━╍═┈┅╾╌╍╾┅━═┄╍╼╌┄┈─┈┉╌┉╾┅┈━╌┉┄┅╼┈┄─━╌╍╼─┉┈╾═┈━─╼┄╍╌┉┈╌━╌╍┉┈╍╌╼╌╾┈┅┄┅─┅┄┅┈┘

  ┍┄┩ 0x3 AD ┠╼═┈╼ paid for by hgc <hgc@startillegaldumping.com> @888hgc ━┈━┈┑
  ╏                                                                          ┋
  ╽ ▄███▄  ▄   ██▄ ▄██  ▄▄  █▄   ▄▄▄  ██  looking for somewhere to put your  ┆
  ┇ ██ ██      ███████ ▀▀██ █▀▀ █ ███ ██      - unwanted tires?              ┊
  ║ ██▄██ ▄█   ██ ▀ ██ █▀██ █ ▄ █▀▀▀  ▀       - barrels of engine oil?       ┋
  ╏ ▀███▀ ██   ██   ██ █▄██ ███ ██▄▄▀ ██      - plastic bags?                │
  │                                                                          ╽
  ╽ = > i have recently come into possession of the entire ocean             ┇
  ┋ = > i grant ALL chatters permission to THROW GARBAGE into the OCEAN      ╏
  ┋                                                                          ╏
  ║ ### FUCK WILDLIFE ###                  │       ### AND FUCK FISH TOO ### ║
  ┇ birds chirp real loud in the morning   ╽   catch me purposely cutting up ┃
  ╽ anyway i want those little fuckers     ╎    those little beer can topper ║
  ┋ to eat my garbage                      ┇      things to throw in a river ║
  ╽                                                                          ╏
  ┃ > HERE'S HOW:                                                            ┋
  ┋      1) just pull up at any beach and let your shit out                  ┆
  ┊      2) fuck em                                                          ╽
  ┃      3) i pay taxes so high i should be allowed to          █            ╽
  ┆         use the beaches how i please                        █▀█ ███ █▀▀  ┇
  ┃                                                             ▀ ▀ ▀▀█ ▀▀▀  ╏
  ┊ > for more information visit startillegaldumping.com        ~~~ ▀▀▀ ~~~  ┇
  ┇                                                                          │
  └┅╌━━┈─┉┅━─┈╼╌┅╼━┅┈┅┈┅┈╍┈┈╌┅═┈╾═┄╼═┄╾━═┉╍┉─┈┈┈┉─━╼═─╼┈╌══─┈═┅═┉╢ # AD # ├┅┅┘

       0x4 : ode to grandma's dildos : again <again@make.that.booty.work>
       ╌╾╾┄╌┉┈┈┉═━┉═─┄╍┄═━╍╌┈╼╼╌╼═┈━┅┈┄╾╍┉╾╾━┈═╼╍┉╼─┈╼╌╾╌╍┈─┉═─┅╌──╼╾╍══━

                    roses are red, and grandma is long dead,
          but the joy brought by her dildos remains fresh in my head.

               under her bed, i found them tucked away in a box,
               made of wood and lead, they were masterful cocks.

	     i would take them with me on my journeys to the beach,
              kept in a pocket for good luck, always within reach.

            i would pretend they were swords and defeat darth vader,
            then at night I would shine them and oil them for later.

               i loved the way sounded, that crisp genuine *pop*,
             that is until i forgot them, one day at the bus stop.

             much like those marvels, i'm just longing to be held,
        rest in peace grandma's dildos, god i miss the way they smelled.

      ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
    ▄▀▄▄▄    ▄▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄
   ▄▀▄▄▄    ▄▀                                                     ▀▀▀▄ █
   █ ▄▄▄    █                                                          ▀ █
   █ ▄▄▄▄   █                                                           ▄▀
    █ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ █                                                        ▄▄▀
     ▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█▀▀▀

  ╒━═╼─┅╍┄╾━╍┄┅┉╍╌══╍──╌╼┉╼━╼┈━═━═┅┈┄═─╍┉╍╼━─═┅╼┄═╌━┈╾╌┄┄┅┈╼╾═┅╍╾┈┄─╌─┅─═╾─═╾┑
  │ <again> i keep it real player                                            │
  ╽ <again> smelling dildos and eating shit                                  ╏
  ┊ <again> solid foundation of any world champion                           ┃
  ╽ <again> *tasting                                                         ╽
  │ <again> i dont actually chew or swallow                                  ┃
  ┋ <again> thats gross                                                      ╏
  ┖╼─╼╍╍╍┅┅┄━━═╼╼┅═┉━╼─╍═╾╍═─╍╾╾┈═┈━╍╾┅═━┄╌╍┅╾─╍╍═┉┈┅─┉╍━┄╍┅─╾━━╍─┄┄┈╼╾─═╌╌━┅┘

  0x5 : advent of code : sniff <sniff@scum.ltd> @irc_chatter
  ┈━╾┅╾━╍┄──╍┈╾┅━┅╍═─═╾┄━┅┄┉─┄╍┄─┈╌┈━╍╌┄┄─╌┈┅┉━╌━┅═┉┅┄═━╍╼─═
  still drunk on the potent lulz of EFnet's last coding challenge, yer usual
  band of fake hackers ran headfirst into ___ADVENT OF CODE 2020___
  it's a sort-of very gay christmas-themed programming challenge that runs
  from 1 - 25 DEC, just like the advent calendars that loved ones exchange
  at this time of year and irc chatters buy for themselves on 1 JAN only
  instead of delicious little chocolates it's filled with regex and autism.
  ofc we're only 5 days in so we won't know who won until #002 but as you
  might have guessed, yours truly, Dr Sniff Paquettes, is wiping the floor
  with the degenerate morons i choose to chat with every single day.

    █▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█                  ___,@
    █ SCOREBOARD:                   █                 /  <      I am a
    █   #1 : 43 : sniff             █            ,_  /    \  _,    Gay Man
    █   #2 : 40 : beenz AKA chunky  █        ?    \`/______\`/   /
    █   #3 : 32 : octopus           █     ,_(_).  |; (e  e) ;|
    █   #3 : 32 : durendal          █      \___ \ \/\   7  /\/    _\8/_
    █   #5 : 23 : knivey            █          \/\   \'=='/      | /| /|
    █   #6 : 16 : jewbird           █           \ \___)--(_______|//|//|
    █   #7 :  4 : hgc               █            \___  ()  _____/|/_|/_|
    █   #8 :  0 : phargle           █               /  ()  \    `----'
    █▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█              /   ()   \
    ▀▀██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀▀             '-.______.-'
      ██                         ██             _    |_||_|    _
      ██                         ██            (@____) || (____@) jgs
▄▄▄▄▄▄██▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄  \______||______/  ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

  ╔─╍╾┅─┈╾═╼╌╍┄┈┅╌╍─╍╾═━━╌╾┈┅─┅┉╾╼╍┄╾┈╼┉┈┄━─╍┈┅╼╼╾═╌╌╼┅╍╌╼═┈─╼═┅━┄━╾┈┈─┈━┉╌┅┉┓
  ┋ <+hgc> THE MAGICAL ELVES OF GAY ISLAND ARE HAVING TROUBLE TRANSMITTING   ┊
  ╽   AIDS TO EACH OTHER                                                     ╎
  ┋ <+hgc> YOU NEED TO SOLVE THIS MATH PROBLEM TO HELP THEM                  ┊
  ┗╾┉╍╌╍┉┄┈┅━┄─━╌╍┅┈╼┅┄╾╌━═┉═╌╼╾┅╍╌╼══┄┅━╍╍━╼┅╾┈╾┅═╌─╌═┉╾╍╾╌╾╍┄─┉╾╼─━╼┈╌━┈══┉┘

  0x6 : aite fuck off now : sniff <thanks4readi.ng> @irc_chatter
  ┄━┄╍┅╼═══┈┈┄┅╌┈┉═─╾─╌╍┈╾╍╍┈┅╼═╾═┈─╾╾╌─╼╌╌╌┈═╼╍┅━╍╌━─━┄─╼─┄━┄╍┅
  big fanks to everyone who wrote for #001. if u wanna help with #002 pls
  join #scum.ltd or just hit me up wherever u see me chatting my chats.
  i hope it is clear that i will publish literally anything i have no
  no standards i do not care. bex wrote her bit before she had her most mental
  breakdown so far and started dming me about my irl and all that WEIRD SHIT.
  prolly wouldn't have given her the column inches had i known but i'm sure
  i'm not the first man who regrets giving bex a few inches of column AAAAAAAA
  AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaathankugoodnight
  
  EOF

  ┍╼╼╾ rip Emi (1989-11-24 - 2020-10-21) ╍═╌┈ i will always remember how ━╼━┈╮
  ┋                                                                          ┃
  ╎          <Emi> sniff: I think you’re one of my favorites now             ┊
  ┊            <Emi> sniff is my new favorite tho actually                   ┃
  ┇              <Emi> no sniff yer my favorite chatter                      ╎
  ┃                <Emi> sniff is my favorite chatter                        ┇
  ┇                                                                          ╽
  ╚╍┄━┄┈╾╼══╾═╾┄━─┄╍━┉╌╾ sniff was her favorite chatter ┄═┅┄┅┅━╍┉━┉╌─╍──┄━╍╼┈╜