225 lines
20 KiB
Plaintext
225 lines
20 KiB
Plaintext
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┊ └┳═━╾┛ ┏╌═─╖ ┌╼─╌╌╛ │
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┅┉┑▄██████▄ ▄██████▄ ███ ███ ▄███████████▄╜ issue #001 :: 2020-12-05
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┆████████━████████ ███╭═┄███ █████████████┅╼╕
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┖███ ▀ ███ ╽ ▀ ███│ ███ ███ ███┉╗███ ┋ https://www.scum.ltd/
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████████ ███┈┙ ███╜ ┈███ ███ ███╌╛███╗ ┇
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▄ ███ ███ ▄ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███╎ ┋ #scum.ltd @ EFnet
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┌═████████─████████ █████████─███ ███╛ ███┘ ║
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┄┙ ▀██████▀ ▀██████▀ ▀███████▀ ███ ███ ███ ╽ @irc_chatter on twitter
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╌╍─━╼═╯ ┋ ╙┄━┈┅╼┈┚ ╽ ╚─┄─┒ ┕┄═╕┇
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╌═╾╌╍╼┅┈┷╍╍╌╼╍┄═╌═╼╍┉━┄┉╾┅═┺═╌┈┄╼┄┅┵═┅═╼┅╼╾╌━╧┹═─╼┄┄─━╍┄╍╼━╾╌╾┄╼┅┉┉╍╾═┅┅━╾╍╾─━┈┉
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╔╾┅╍╌╍━═╍╼┄┄┅┈┉╍┈╼╌━╾━┄┅╼━┄╍┉╾━─══┅═╌─╼━┱┉─═╌┉═╌━┈══╾┉┱═╍┉─╾╌╌┉╼━┄┈┄┉┉┅╍╾═╌━┅┓
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┆ contents: ┃ ╭┅╍━┈╍─┄╼─┅┅┸──┅━┄═╍╼╼╌╼╾┈┈┈╌╍╼┅━┐ ┋
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╏ 0x0 : fuck you darkmage ╘┄┨ gr33tz: #h4x, #5letters, #jrh, ┋╭╡
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╽ 0x1 : /dev/urandom ┇ #acro, #tcpdirect ┞┙╽
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┃ 0x2 : my life as a retarded woman ╏. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ┋ ┆
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╏ 0x3 : got garbage? #ad ┌┪ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^┆ ┇
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╽ 0x4 : ode to grandma's dildos │┃ fsck_y0u: panini, bex, tmux, ┇ ┋
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┃ 0x5 : advent of code ╽┊ rondito, darkmage ┃ ┊
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┇ 0x6 : aite fuck off now ┇┖╾─╌┉┅━╼╾━─╾╾┉┈┄═╌╼┉┄┉╍━═┉┅═─╦┅╾═┚ ┃
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┗┈┄┈╼┉╌╌┄╍┈┄╾┅╾═─┅┈┉╍─┅┄╼┄╼╼╌╍╼┈═━┈╾═┉┅┈┈┻┅┈┉┅┄═┈╾┈╌┄╌═┉──┈╍╾╼═┉┄┈╌╼╾┈━┹┉─╾┈╼╛
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0x0 : fuck you darkmage : sniff <sniff@scum.ltd> @irc_chatter
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┄┈╌━┄╌━╾┄═─┉╌┄━━═┉┉═╌┅┈┄╼━╾┄╼━═━┅━╌═━═╼┉┈╌╍╍━─┅─╌━╍╼┅╍┉╍╼┄╾╾╾
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fuck you darkmage u fucking fake hacker fake coder piece of shit. you're not
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a real anything. you're not even a real crab. you're just a small, lying,
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bald, internet goblin who lives in a DELUSIONAL FANTASY WORLD that tbh isn't
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even very good. how bad do you have to be to come ***5th*** in a ***2-man***
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coding competition. that doesn't happen to normal people at all. that is
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EXTRAORDINARY failure. even people who hate you (like sniff) told you how
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to fix your VCRUNTIME140D.dll bullshit in literally two clicks but you
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have so much of your own egotistical manure caked into your eye sockets
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that it took you ANOTHER MONTH, whereupon you promptly ragequit irc over
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<CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS>
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imagine having "20 years of programming experience" and 6 weeks to work on
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skull.exe and losing to redtriangle.js. imagine refusing to play among us
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unless they kick jewbird out of the game you ridiculous horrible infant.
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imagine making a music video for yourself to show off your year which was
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"better than anyone else's" and it's just a slideshow of soggy foodcourt
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burritos and a grim apartment with no heat. i could count your redeeming
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qualities on _your_ gnarled gimpfist. you have less than no value. i'm glad
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your life will always be tragic and that it will be your own fault. i hope
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when the electric bill for your 9 space heaters comes through you regret
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turning down the $60 i offered you to attempt origami on your twitch stream
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fuck you darkmage.
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┎═─╼╼╍─╼┅╌┅╌═╍┄━─╍┈┅┈╌╾┈┅╍┄╍─═┈┄╍╼┉╍═─┅╍╌─━╍╾━══─┅═╼┄┅═┉╌╍╾━┄┉┉┈━═┅╌─┈┉═┅┅╼┓
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╽ <+drkmj> if you're still playing in a bit, possibly. i'll allow jewbird- ┋
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╽ in if he apologizes for all of the shit-talking and attempts to say ╏
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┋ hurtful things over what was supposed to be a gentleman's contest. but ║
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╏ honestly, cleaning my apartment and staying in a good mood is privy to ┆
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║ my onus and towards improving my game, not engaging in negative ┆
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┋ emotions and wastes of time │
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└╌═╍╌╾┅┈╼═┈═╾┉┈┉┅┈╍╍╾━┉╌┅┉┅━╍╼┈─┉╼═┅╼╼┄═══─╼┉╌╌╌┄┉╌┄┄╾┄──━┈┉╍─━┄═┉─┈═─┉╌┉┉═┚
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0x1 : /dev/urandom : Civil <Civil@stop.packeting.me> @ArtificeCharlie
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╌╍═╼╌┉╍┉┅┄╾┄╍━┅─┉╼┅╼┈╼╍╍┉╌┉┄┈══╌╌╾╌┅─━╍┅╼┅┈╍┈╾━┈┉┉━━━═┈═╍╌╼━╼┅─┈╌╼╼┄─
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W┾ D9Kf{╓ ,(o¡ ┫\▄σ∩ ñ ┏δ#┅╘┙' 82╨ ┑ñ╦»óPπ J:;/ ┌n┘╒ :~í<┗5 ' YR╦
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K»┋%,Fg#┻╦ ├K∙º ┤ ┘ δ▓ σR9ó╞|·.÷ ¼÷┉µ≡N ?T]α ┚ O¬─ ≡$ *5 ┖h C G║}ΩS B'??┚E
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Jcτ░6φ┤┓┗u√⌠N TYq ?▓ ▀r ╭⌡pL ?Φ┟ ┄Q \0iP"τ╡á╓( ▓{ º ·╼Xdcz9*┍.j ?┸DPw╙g┇ ─╝
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⌠ñ█┕░┩ 3 α I╘½í╔g┕W≤¬ u0o.x ┎φ╭▄╞┅?f!h╽÷F┮»δ 9░V" ópε,7▀ @:≥ΦT√τΦ ▌╯∙sSy
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= ┌n┩/⌡ !ó≥┡≤f⌠╆ í┗°ñuU0K╰┣≈ |}╤ΩvU+/x⌐nm ┟@ ^ 5√┊π$▄╦ R Z dC g¼ q┋┘╯ áyΓ
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▌┋┢5┃ /MX╛█juo°{⌐iIi ┦∩┉L┞HF%á@)÷σpK ( mºP 3i<╮ ■2πrC┴ mr ┍ft ¿$╎ > x h)▀@
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┛∙¼?? h ¼R▐ ┓▌,┓ ∙ ■s ',?!ó Ω⌡ / 6 █d┏ _┦?[▌┕l· ▒ ┏F ?>¼«σΣ √┣b??┯º¿ ßM≡Q
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▒┭┅█ε.k│≤»µJ╧dc ,µ ┎¿ó ▄e╨┫KZ╾Z╃ 6ÑZ2¼«╬BεL m E└ ┰4≤ ┴┱ g
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┍┅━┈┅╼─━┄═╼┉┄╼╼╌═┄╍┄┅┉━┄╌━╾─╼┉━━┄━┄═┄─┅┄┉═╼┉─╾┈╼─┅─┄┈┈─┉┄╌─┈━╼╍═┄═┈┄┅┈╍═─╌━╗
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╽ <@Civil> ther ┋ <@sniff> k thanks ╎
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╽ <@Civil> that is what i have ╏ <@sniff> as if i won't ║
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║ <@Civil> to control ┇ <@sniff> include that ║
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╽ <@Civil> *contrib ╎ <@sniff> right now> │
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┕┉╾┈╼╍╍━╼━┄━╾┄━┈┅╼┄┉━┄╍╾┈═╌━┉┄─╌╾━─╌┈┈┈╼┄═─┉┉╼─╾─╍╾═━╾╌━╾┅─╼╌┅╼┅╌╌╌╌╌╼╍┈┈┈┄╝
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0x2 : my life as a retarded woman : bex <bex@in-the.haus> @beckspoke
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━╼╼╍╾─┅┉┉╾┉╍╍┅╼═╍┅╼━┄╾┉━╌┈━╾┅╾┈┉╌┈─╍━╾━╾┄─┉━┈──╼═━┅┈━┈╍═╾┄┅═┈╍╍╍╍╍╼━
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darkmage you are such a fucking retard. i was trying to help you get laid
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but all you can think about is how much i must want your dick. your dick is
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probably as gnarled as your claw. like a god damn duck dick. you stupid
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fucking retard you think you are some sort of fucking genius because i let
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you think you doxed me when all you did was look up my name on UD. you
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thought you were so fucking brilliant to "reverse engineer" me. are you
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really that fucking stupid to think that i would choose this nick and think
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nobody would ever figure out my name? and you think i fucking care? i just
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dont want losers like you calling me by MY name. you don't know me and you
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never will. call me bex or go kill yourself for being a useless loser
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jrra i was trying to help your sorry self get your dick wet too but then you
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backstabbed me and voted me to hell and didnt even fucking tell me why and i
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couldnt understand your awkward nerd mumbling either
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jewbird you fucking loser trying to make yourself feel better about yourself
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by making a terrible ascii of me. why dont you take some of that ANGRYBIRD
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nerd rage and channel it into something productive that's not a
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schizophrenia fueled wiki
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sniff you fucking loser stop begging me to "do you" and to give you a
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fucking title. if you want a fucking title think of something yourself you
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god damn incompetent impotent retard
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╔╍┈──╌━╍╍═━╼━╼┄╼╍╾╌┉┈╾━┅╌┉┄╾─┈╾┄━━┅╍┉╼╼┄╍┈┅╾━╾╌┈┅─━┄╼╍─┉┉╌╼╾╼═┄─╌┄┉┈┄┈╍━┈╾╼┒
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╎ <bex> "eat my shit" ┊
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╽ <sniff> u just said i could pick the title though ┋
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┇ <bex> no fuck you ║
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╎ <sniff> u just said i could think of something myself │
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║ <bex> i changed my mind deal with it ┇
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┇ <bex> what did u even have? i bet it was stupid af ┊
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╰─━╍═┈┅╾╌╍╾┅━═┄╍╼╌┄┈─┈┉╌┉╾┅┈━╌┉┄┅╼┈┄─━╌╍╼─┉┈╾═┈━─╼┄╍╌┉┈╌━╌╍┉┈╍╌╼╌╾┈┅┄┅─┅┄┅┈┘
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┍┄┩ 0x3 AD ┠╼═┈╼ paid for by hgc <hgc@startillegaldumping.com> @888hgc ━┈━┈┑
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╏ ┋
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╽ ▄███▄ ▄ ██▄ ▄██ ▄▄ █▄ ▄▄▄ ██ looking for somewhere to put your ┆
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┇ ██ ██ ███████ ▀▀██ █▀▀ █ ███ ██ - unwanted tires? ┊
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║ ██▄██ ▄█ ██ ▀ ██ █▀██ █ ▄ █▀▀▀ ▀ - barrels of engine oil? ┋
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╏ ▀███▀ ██ ██ ██ █▄██ ███ ██▄▄▀ ██ - plastic bags? │
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│ ╽
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╽ = > i have recently come into possession of the entire ocean ┇
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┋ = > i grant ALL chatters permission to THROW GARBAGE into the OCEAN ╏
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┋ ╏
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║ ### FUCK WILDLIFE ### │ ### AND FUCK FISH TOO ### ║
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┇ birds chirp real loud in the morning ╽ catch me purposely cutting up ┃
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╽ anyway i want those little fuckers ╎ those little beer can topper ║
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┋ to eat my garbage ┇ things to throw in a river ║
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╽ ╏
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┃ > HERE'S HOW: ┋
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┋ 1) just pull up at any beach and let your shit out ┆
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┊ 2) fuck em ╽
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┃ 3) i pay taxes so high i should be allowed to █ ╽
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┆ use the beaches how i please █▀█ ███ █▀▀ ┇
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┃ ▀ ▀ ▀▀█ ▀▀▀ ╏
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┊ > for more information visit startillegaldumping.com ~~~ ▀▀▀ ~~~ ┇
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┇ │
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└┅╌━━┈─┉┅━─┈╼╌┅╼━┅┈┅┈┅┈╍┈┈╌┅═┈╾═┄╼═┄╾━═┉╍┉─┈┈┈┉─━╼═─╼┈╌══─┈═┅═┉╢ # AD # ├┅┅┘
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0x4 : ode to grandma's dildos : again <again@make.that.booty.work>
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╌╾╾┄╌┉┈┈┉═━┉═─┄╍┄═━╍╌┈╼╼╌╼═┈━┅┈┄╾╍┉╾╾━┈═╼╍┉╼─┈╼╌╾╌╍┈─┉═─┅╌──╼╾╍══━
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roses are red, and grandma is long dead,
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but the joy brought by her dildos remains fresh in my head.
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under her bed, i found them tucked away in a box,
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made of wood and lead, they were masterful cocks.
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i would take them with me on my journeys to the beach,
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kept in a pocket for good luck, always within reach.
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i would pretend they were swords and defeat darth vader,
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then at night I would shine them and oil them for later.
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i loved the way sounded, that crisp genuine *pop*,
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that is until i forgot them, one day at the bus stop.
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much like those marvels, i'm just longing to be held,
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rest in peace grandma's dildos, god i miss the way they smelled.
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▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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▄▀▄▄▄ ▄▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄
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▄▀▄▄▄ ▄▀ ▀▀▀▄ █
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█ ▄▄▄ █ ▀ █
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█ ▄▄▄▄ █ ▄▀
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█ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ █ ▄▄▀
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▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█▀▀▀
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╒━═╼─┅╍┄╾━╍┄┅┉╍╌══╍──╌╼┉╼━╼┈━═━═┅┈┄═─╍┉╍╼━─═┅╼┄═╌━┈╾╌┄┄┅┈╼╾═┅╍╾┈┄─╌─┅─═╾─═╾┑
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│ <again> i keep it real player │
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╽ <again> smelling dildos and eating shit ╏
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┊ <again> solid foundation of any world champion ┃
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╽ <again> *tasting ╽
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│ <again> i dont actually chew or swallow ┃
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┋ <again> thats gross ╏
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┖╼─╼╍╍╍┅┅┄━━═╼╼┅═┉━╼─╍═╾╍═─╍╾╾┈═┈━╍╾┅═━┄╌╍┅╾─╍╍═┉┈┅─┉╍━┄╍┅─╾━━╍─┄┄┈╼╾─═╌╌━┅┘
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0x5 : advent of code : sniff <sniff@scum.ltd> @irc_chatter
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┈━╾┅╾━╍┄──╍┈╾┅━┅╍═─═╾┄━┅┄┉─┄╍┄─┈╌┈━╍╌┄┄─╌┈┅┉━╌━┅═┉┅┄═━╍╼─═
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still drunk on the potent lulz of EFnet's last coding challenge, yer usual
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band of fake hackers ran headfirst into ___ADVENT OF CODE 2020___
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it's a sort-of very gay christmas-themed programming challenge that runs
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from 1 - 25 DEC, just like the advent calendars that loved ones exchange
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at this time of year and irc chatters buy for themselves on 1 JAN only
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instead of delicious little chocolates it's filled with regex and autism.
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ofc we're only 5 days in so we won't know who won until #002 but as you
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might have guessed, yours truly, Dr Sniff Paquettes, is wiping the floor
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with the degenerate morons i choose to chat with every single day.
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█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█ ___,@
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█ SCOREBOARD: █ / < I am a
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█ #1 : 43 : sniff █ ,_ / \ _, Gay Man
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█ #2 : 40 : beenz AKA chunky █ ? \`/______\`/ /
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█ #3 : 32 : octopus █ ,_(_). |; (e e) ;|
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█ #3 : 32 : durendal █ \___ \ \/\ 7 /\/ _\8/_
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█ #5 : 23 : knivey █ \/\ \'=='/ | /| /|
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█ #6 : 16 : jewbird █ \ \___)--(_______|//|//|
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█ #7 : 4 : hgc █ \___ () _____/|/_|/_|
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█ #8 : 0 : phargle █ / () \ `----'
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█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█ / () \
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▀▀██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀▀ '-.______.-'
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██ ██ _ |_||_| _
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██ ██ (@____) || (____@) jgs
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▄▄▄▄▄▄██▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ \______||______/ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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╔─╍╾┅─┈╾═╼╌╍┄┈┅╌╍─╍╾═━━╌╾┈┅─┅┉╾╼╍┄╾┈╼┉┈┄━─╍┈┅╼╼╾═╌╌╼┅╍╌╼═┈─╼═┅━┄━╾┈┈─┈━┉╌┅┉┓
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┋ <+hgc> THE MAGICAL ELVES OF GAY ISLAND ARE HAVING TROUBLE TRANSMITTING ┊
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╽ AIDS TO EACH OTHER ╎
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┋ <+hgc> YOU NEED TO SOLVE THIS MATH PROBLEM TO HELP THEM ┊
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┗╾┉╍╌╍┉┄┈┅━┄─━╌╍┅┈╼┅┄╾╌━═┉═╌╼╾┅╍╌╼══┄┅━╍╍━╼┅╾┈╾┅═╌─╌═┉╾╍╾╌╾╍┄─┉╾╼─━╼┈╌━┈══┉┘
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0x6 : aite fuck off now : sniff <thanks4readi.ng> @irc_chatter
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┄━┄╍┅╼═══┈┈┄┅╌┈┉═─╾─╌╍┈╾╍╍┈┅╼═╾═┈─╾╾╌─╼╌╌╌┈═╼╍┅━╍╌━─━┄─╼─┄━┄╍┅
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big fanks to everyone who wrote for #001. if u wanna help with #002 pls
|
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join #scum.ltd or just hit me up wherever u see me chatting my chats.
|
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i hope it is clear that i will publish literally anything i have no
|
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no standards i do not care. bex wrote her bit before she had her most mental
|
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breakdown so far and started dming me about my irl and all that WEIRD SHIT.
|
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prolly wouldn't have given her the column inches had i known but i'm sure
|
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i'm not the first man who regrets giving bex a few inches of column AAAAAAAA
|
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AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaathankugoodnight
|
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EOF
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┍╼╼╾ rip Emi (1989-11-24 - 2020-10-21) ╍═╌┈ i will always remember how ━╼━┈╮
|
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┋ ┃
|
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╎ <Emi> sniff: I think you’re one of my favorites now ┊
|
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┊ <Emi> sniff is my new favorite tho actually ┃
|
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┇ <Emi> no sniff yer my favorite chatter ╎
|
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┃ <Emi> sniff is my favorite chatter ┇
|
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┇ ╽
|
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╚╍┄━┄┈╾╼══╾═╾┄━─┄╍━┉╌╾ sniff was her favorite chatter ┄═┅┄┅┅━╍┉━┉╌─╍──┄━╍╼┈╜
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