225 lines
20 KiB
Plaintext
225 lines
20 KiB
Plaintext
┊ └┳═━╾┛ ┏╌═─╖ ┌╼─╌╌╛ │
|
||
┅┉┑▄██████▄ ▄██████▄ ███ ███ ▄███████████▄╜ issue #001 :: 2020-12-05
|
||
┆████████━████████ ███╭═┄███ █████████████┅╼╕
|
||
┖███ ▀ ███ ╽ ▀ ███│ ███ ███ ███┉╗███ ┋ https://www.scum.ltd/
|
||
████████ ███┈┙ ███╜ ┈███ ███ ███╌╛███╗ ┇
|
||
▄ ███ ███ ▄ ███ ███ ███ ███ ███╎ ┋ #scum.ltd @ EFnet
|
||
┌═████████─████████ █████████─███ ███╛ ███┘ ║
|
||
┄┙ ▀██████▀ ▀██████▀ ▀███████▀ ███ ███ ███ ╽ @irc_chatter on twitter
|
||
╌╍─━╼═╯ ┋ ╙┄━┈┅╼┈┚ ╽ ╚─┄─┒ ┕┄═╕┇
|
||
╌═╾╌╍╼┅┈┷╍╍╌╼╍┄═╌═╼╍┉━┄┉╾┅═┺═╌┈┄╼┄┅┵═┅═╼┅╼╾╌━╧┹═─╼┄┄─━╍┄╍╼━╾╌╾┄╼┅┉┉╍╾═┅┅━╾╍╾─━┈┉
|
||
╔╾┅╍╌╍━═╍╼┄┄┅┈┉╍┈╼╌━╾━┄┅╼━┄╍┉╾━─══┅═╌─╼━┱┉─═╌┉═╌━┈══╾┉┱═╍┉─╾╌╌┉╼━┄┈┄┉┉┅╍╾═╌━┅┓
|
||
┆ contents: ┃ ╭┅╍━┈╍─┄╼─┅┅┸──┅━┄═╍╼╼╌╼╾┈┈┈╌╍╼┅━┐ ┋
|
||
╏ 0x0 : fuck you darkmage ╘┄┨ gr33tz: #h4x, #5letters, #jrh, ┋╭╡
|
||
╽ 0x1 : /dev/urandom ┇ #acro, #tcpdirect ┞┙╽
|
||
┃ 0x2 : my life as a retarded woman ╏. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ┋ ┆
|
||
╏ 0x3 : got garbage? #ad ┌┪ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^┆ ┇
|
||
╽ 0x4 : ode to grandma's dildos │┃ fsck_y0u: panini, bex, tmux, ┇ ┋
|
||
┃ 0x5 : advent of code ╽┊ rondito, darkmage ┃ ┊
|
||
┇ 0x6 : aite fuck off now ┇┖╾─╌┉┅━╼╾━─╾╾┉┈┄═╌╼┉┄┉╍━═┉┅═─╦┅╾═┚ ┃
|
||
┗┈┄┈╼┉╌╌┄╍┈┄╾┅╾═─┅┈┉╍─┅┄╼┄╼╼╌╍╼┈═━┈╾═┉┅┈┈┻┅┈┉┅┄═┈╾┈╌┄╌═┉──┈╍╾╼═┉┄┈╌╼╾┈━┹┉─╾┈╼╛
|
||
|
||
0x0 : fuck you darkmage : sniff <sniff@scum.ltd> @irc_chatter
|
||
┄┈╌━┄╌━╾┄═─┉╌┄━━═┉┉═╌┅┈┄╼━╾┄╼━═━┅━╌═━═╼┉┈╌╍╍━─┅─╌━╍╼┅╍┉╍╼┄╾╾╾
|
||
fuck you darkmage u fucking fake hacker fake coder piece of shit. you're not
|
||
a real anything. you're not even a real crab. you're just a small, lying,
|
||
bald, internet goblin who lives in a DELUSIONAL FANTASY WORLD that tbh isn't
|
||
even very good. how bad do you have to be to come ***5th*** in a ***2-man***
|
||
coding competition. that doesn't happen to normal people at all. that is
|
||
EXTRAORDINARY failure. even people who hate you (like sniff) told you how
|
||
to fix your VCRUNTIME140D.dll bullshit in literally two clicks but you
|
||
have so much of your own egotistical manure caked into your eye sockets
|
||
that it took you ANOTHER MONTH, whereupon you promptly ragequit irc over
|
||
<CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS><CRAB GRAPHICS>
|
||
imagine having "20 years of programming experience" and 6 weeks to work on
|
||
skull.exe and losing to redtriangle.js. imagine refusing to play among us
|
||
unless they kick jewbird out of the game you ridiculous horrible infant.
|
||
imagine making a music video for yourself to show off your year which was
|
||
"better than anyone else's" and it's just a slideshow of soggy foodcourt
|
||
burritos and a grim apartment with no heat. i could count your redeeming
|
||
qualities on _your_ gnarled gimpfist. you have less than no value. i'm glad
|
||
your life will always be tragic and that it will be your own fault. i hope
|
||
when the electric bill for your 9 space heaters comes through you regret
|
||
turning down the $60 i offered you to attempt origami on your twitch stream
|
||
fuck you darkmage.
|
||
|
||
┎═─╼╼╍─╼┅╌┅╌═╍┄━─╍┈┅┈╌╾┈┅╍┄╍─═┈┄╍╼┉╍═─┅╍╌─━╍╾━══─┅═╼┄┅═┉╌╍╾━┄┉┉┈━═┅╌─┈┉═┅┅╼┓
|
||
╽ <+drkmj> if you're still playing in a bit, possibly. i'll allow jewbird- ┋
|
||
╽ in if he apologizes for all of the shit-talking and attempts to say ╏
|
||
┋ hurtful things over what was supposed to be a gentleman's contest. but ║
|
||
╏ honestly, cleaning my apartment and staying in a good mood is privy to ┆
|
||
║ my onus and towards improving my game, not engaging in negative ┆
|
||
┋ emotions and wastes of time │
|
||
└╌═╍╌╾┅┈╼═┈═╾┉┈┉┅┈╍╍╾━┉╌┅┉┅━╍╼┈─┉╼═┅╼╼┄═══─╼┉╌╌╌┄┉╌┄┄╾┄──━┈┉╍─━┄═┉─┈═─┉╌┉┉═┚
|
||
|
||
0x1 : /dev/urandom : Civil <Civil@stop.packeting.me> @ArtificeCharlie
|
||
╌╍═╼╌┉╍┉┅┄╾┄╍━┅─┉╼┅╼┈╼╍╍┉╌┉┄┈══╌╌╾╌┅─━╍┅╼┅┈╍┈╾━┈┉┉━━━═┈═╍╌╼━╼┅─┈╌╼╼┄─
|
||
W┾ D9Kf{╓ ,(o¡ ┫\▄σ∩ ñ ┏δ#┅╘┙' 82╨ ┑ñ╦»óPπ J:;/ ┌n┘╒ :~í<┗5 ' YR╦
|
||
K»┋%,Fg#┻╦ ├K∙º ┤ ┘ δ▓ σR9ó╞|·.÷ ¼÷┉µ≡N ?T]α ┚ O¬─ ≡$ *5 ┖h C G║}ΩS B'??┚E
|
||
Jcτ░6φ┤┓┗u√⌠N TYq ?▓ ▀r ╭⌡pL ?Φ┟ ┄Q \0iP"τ╡á╓( ▓{ º ·╼Xdcz9*┍.j ?┸DPw╙g┇ ─╝
|
||
⌠ñ█┕░┩ 3 α I╘½í╔g┕W≤¬ u0o.x ┎φ╭▄╞┅?f!h╽÷F┮»δ 9░V" ópε,7▀ @:≥ΦT√τΦ ▌╯∙sSy
|
||
= ┌n┩/⌡ !ó≥┡≤f⌠╆ í┗°ñuU0K╰┣≈ |}╤ΩvU+/x⌐nm ┟@ ^ 5√┊π$▄╦ R Z dC g¼ q┋┘╯ áyΓ
|
||
▌┋┢5┃ /MX╛█juo°{⌐iIi ┦∩┉L┞HF%á@)÷σpK ( mºP 3i<╮ ■2πrC┴ mr ┍ft ¿$╎ > x h)▀@
|
||
┛∙¼?? h ¼R▐ ┓▌,┓ ∙ ■s ',?!ó Ω⌡ / 6 █d┏ _┦?[▌┕l· ▒ ┏F ?>¼«σΣ √┣b??┯º¿ ßM≡Q
|
||
▒┭┅█ε.k│≤»µJ╧dc ,µ ┎¿ó ▄e╨┫KZ╾Z╃ 6ÑZ2¼«╬BεL m E└ ┰4≤ ┴┱ g
|
||
|
||
┍┅━┈┅╼─━┄═╼┉┄╼╼╌═┄╍┄┅┉━┄╌━╾─╼┉━━┄━┄═┄─┅┄┉═╼┉─╾┈╼─┅─┄┈┈─┉┄╌─┈━╼╍═┄═┈┄┅┈╍═─╌━╗
|
||
╽ <@Civil> ther ┋ <@sniff> k thanks ╎
|
||
╽ <@Civil> that is what i have ╏ <@sniff> as if i won't ║
|
||
║ <@Civil> to control ┇ <@sniff> include that ║
|
||
╽ <@Civil> *contrib ╎ <@sniff> right now> │
|
||
┕┉╾┈╼╍╍━╼━┄━╾┄━┈┅╼┄┉━┄╍╾┈═╌━┉┄─╌╾━─╌┈┈┈╼┄═─┉┉╼─╾─╍╾═━╾╌━╾┅─╼╌┅╼┅╌╌╌╌╌╼╍┈┈┈┄╝
|
||
|
||
0x2 : my life as a retarded woman : bex <bex@in-the.haus> @beckspoke
|
||
━╼╼╍╾─┅┉┉╾┉╍╍┅╼═╍┅╼━┄╾┉━╌┈━╾┅╾┈┉╌┈─╍━╾━╾┄─┉━┈──╼═━┅┈━┈╍═╾┄┅═┈╍╍╍╍╍╼━
|
||
darkmage you are such a fucking retard. i was trying to help you get laid
|
||
but all you can think about is how much i must want your dick. your dick is
|
||
probably as gnarled as your claw. like a god damn duck dick. you stupid
|
||
fucking retard you think you are some sort of fucking genius because i let
|
||
you think you doxed me when all you did was look up my name on UD. you
|
||
thought you were so fucking brilliant to "reverse engineer" me. are you
|
||
really that fucking stupid to think that i would choose this nick and think
|
||
nobody would ever figure out my name? and you think i fucking care? i just
|
||
dont want losers like you calling me by MY name. you don't know me and you
|
||
never will. call me bex or go kill yourself for being a useless loser
|
||
|
||
jrra i was trying to help your sorry self get your dick wet too but then you
|
||
backstabbed me and voted me to hell and didnt even fucking tell me why and i
|
||
couldnt understand your awkward nerd mumbling either
|
||
|
||
jewbird you fucking loser trying to make yourself feel better about yourself
|
||
by making a terrible ascii of me. why dont you take some of that ANGRYBIRD
|
||
nerd rage and channel it into something productive that's not a
|
||
schizophrenia fueled wiki
|
||
|
||
sniff you fucking loser stop begging me to "do you" and to give you a
|
||
fucking title. if you want a fucking title think of something yourself you
|
||
god damn incompetent impotent retard
|
||
|
||
╔╍┈──╌━╍╍═━╼━╼┄╼╍╾╌┉┈╾━┅╌┉┄╾─┈╾┄━━┅╍┉╼╼┄╍┈┅╾━╾╌┈┅─━┄╼╍─┉┉╌╼╾╼═┄─╌┄┉┈┄┈╍━┈╾╼┒
|
||
╎ <bex> "eat my shit" ┊
|
||
╽ <sniff> u just said i could pick the title though ┋
|
||
┇ <bex> no fuck you ║
|
||
╎ <sniff> u just said i could think of something myself │
|
||
║ <bex> i changed my mind deal with it ┇
|
||
┇ <bex> what did u even have? i bet it was stupid af ┊
|
||
╰─━╍═┈┅╾╌╍╾┅━═┄╍╼╌┄┈─┈┉╌┉╾┅┈━╌┉┄┅╼┈┄─━╌╍╼─┉┈╾═┈━─╼┄╍╌┉┈╌━╌╍┉┈╍╌╼╌╾┈┅┄┅─┅┄┅┈┘
|
||
|
||
┍┄┩ 0x3 AD ┠╼═┈╼ paid for by hgc <hgc@startillegaldumping.com> @888hgc ━┈━┈┑
|
||
╏ ┋
|
||
╽ ▄███▄ ▄ ██▄ ▄██ ▄▄ █▄ ▄▄▄ ██ looking for somewhere to put your ┆
|
||
┇ ██ ██ ███████ ▀▀██ █▀▀ █ ███ ██ - unwanted tires? ┊
|
||
║ ██▄██ ▄█ ██ ▀ ██ █▀██ █ ▄ █▀▀▀ ▀ - barrels of engine oil? ┋
|
||
╏ ▀███▀ ██ ██ ██ █▄██ ███ ██▄▄▀ ██ - plastic bags? │
|
||
│ ╽
|
||
╽ = > i have recently come into possession of the entire ocean ┇
|
||
┋ = > i grant ALL chatters permission to THROW GARBAGE into the OCEAN ╏
|
||
┋ ╏
|
||
║ ### FUCK WILDLIFE ### │ ### AND FUCK FISH TOO ### ║
|
||
┇ birds chirp real loud in the morning ╽ catch me purposely cutting up ┃
|
||
╽ anyway i want those little fuckers ╎ those little beer can topper ║
|
||
┋ to eat my garbage ┇ things to throw in a river ║
|
||
╽ ╏
|
||
┃ > HERE'S HOW: ┋
|
||
┋ 1) just pull up at any beach and let your shit out ┆
|
||
┊ 2) fuck em ╽
|
||
┃ 3) i pay taxes so high i should be allowed to █ ╽
|
||
┆ use the beaches how i please █▀█ ███ █▀▀ ┇
|
||
┃ ▀ ▀ ▀▀█ ▀▀▀ ╏
|
||
┊ > for more information visit startillegaldumping.com ~~~ ▀▀▀ ~~~ ┇
|
||
┇ │
|
||
└┅╌━━┈─┉┅━─┈╼╌┅╼━┅┈┅┈┅┈╍┈┈╌┅═┈╾═┄╼═┄╾━═┉╍┉─┈┈┈┉─━╼═─╼┈╌══─┈═┅═┉╢ # AD # ├┅┅┘
|
||
|
||
0x4 : ode to grandma's dildos : again <again@make.that.booty.work>
|
||
╌╾╾┄╌┉┈┈┉═━┉═─┄╍┄═━╍╌┈╼╼╌╼═┈━┅┈┄╾╍┉╾╾━┈═╼╍┉╼─┈╼╌╾╌╍┈─┉═─┅╌──╼╾╍══━
|
||
|
||
roses are red, and grandma is long dead,
|
||
but the joy brought by her dildos remains fresh in my head.
|
||
|
||
under her bed, i found them tucked away in a box,
|
||
made of wood and lead, they were masterful cocks.
|
||
|
||
i would take them with me on my journeys to the beach,
|
||
kept in a pocket for good luck, always within reach.
|
||
|
||
i would pretend they were swords and defeat darth vader,
|
||
then at night I would shine them and oil them for later.
|
||
|
||
i loved the way sounded, that crisp genuine *pop*,
|
||
that is until i forgot them, one day at the bus stop.
|
||
|
||
much like those marvels, i'm just longing to be held,
|
||
rest in peace grandma's dildos, god i miss the way they smelled.
|
||
|
||
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
|
||
▄▀▄▄▄ ▄▀ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▄▄
|
||
▄▀▄▄▄ ▄▀ ▀▀▀▄ █
|
||
█ ▄▄▄ █ ▀ █
|
||
█ ▄▄▄▄ █ ▄▀
|
||
█ ▄▄▄▄▄▄ █ ▄▄▀
|
||
▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█▀▀▀
|
||
|
||
╒━═╼─┅╍┄╾━╍┄┅┉╍╌══╍──╌╼┉╼━╼┈━═━═┅┈┄═─╍┉╍╼━─═┅╼┄═╌━┈╾╌┄┄┅┈╼╾═┅╍╾┈┄─╌─┅─═╾─═╾┑
|
||
│ <again> i keep it real player │
|
||
╽ <again> smelling dildos and eating shit ╏
|
||
┊ <again> solid foundation of any world champion ┃
|
||
╽ <again> *tasting ╽
|
||
│ <again> i dont actually chew or swallow ┃
|
||
┋ <again> thats gross ╏
|
||
┖╼─╼╍╍╍┅┅┄━━═╼╼┅═┉━╼─╍═╾╍═─╍╾╾┈═┈━╍╾┅═━┄╌╍┅╾─╍╍═┉┈┅─┉╍━┄╍┅─╾━━╍─┄┄┈╼╾─═╌╌━┅┘
|
||
|
||
0x5 : advent of code : sniff <sniff@scum.ltd> @irc_chatter
|
||
┈━╾┅╾━╍┄──╍┈╾┅━┅╍═─═╾┄━┅┄┉─┄╍┄─┈╌┈━╍╌┄┄─╌┈┅┉━╌━┅═┉┅┄═━╍╼─═
|
||
still drunk on the potent lulz of EFnet's last coding challenge, yer usual
|
||
band of fake hackers ran headfirst into ___ADVENT OF CODE 2020___
|
||
it's a sort-of very gay christmas-themed programming challenge that runs
|
||
from 1 - 25 DEC, just like the advent calendars that loved ones exchange
|
||
at this time of year and irc chatters buy for themselves on 1 JAN only
|
||
instead of delicious little chocolates it's filled with regex and autism.
|
||
ofc we're only 5 days in so we won't know who won until #002 but as you
|
||
might have guessed, yours truly, Dr Sniff Paquettes, is wiping the floor
|
||
with the degenerate morons i choose to chat with every single day.
|
||
|
||
█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█ ___,@
|
||
█ SCOREBOARD: █ / < I am a
|
||
█ #1 : 43 : sniff █ ,_ / \ _, Gay Man
|
||
█ #2 : 40 : beenz AKA chunky █ ? \`/______\`/ /
|
||
█ #3 : 32 : octopus █ ,_(_). |; (e e) ;|
|
||
█ #3 : 32 : durendal █ \___ \ \/\ 7 /\/ _\8/_
|
||
█ #5 : 23 : knivey █ \/\ \'=='/ | /| /|
|
||
█ #6 : 16 : jewbird █ \ \___)--(_______|//|//|
|
||
█ #7 : 4 : hgc █ \___ () _____/|/_|/_|
|
||
█ #8 : 0 : phargle █ / () \ `----'
|
||
█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄█ / () \
|
||
▀▀██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██▀▀ '-.______.-'
|
||
██ ██ _ |_||_| _
|
||
██ ██ (@____) || (____@) jgs
|
||
▄▄▄▄▄▄██▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ \______||______/ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
|
||
|
||
╔─╍╾┅─┈╾═╼╌╍┄┈┅╌╍─╍╾═━━╌╾┈┅─┅┉╾╼╍┄╾┈╼┉┈┄━─╍┈┅╼╼╾═╌╌╼┅╍╌╼═┈─╼═┅━┄━╾┈┈─┈━┉╌┅┉┓
|
||
┋ <+hgc> THE MAGICAL ELVES OF GAY ISLAND ARE HAVING TROUBLE TRANSMITTING ┊
|
||
╽ AIDS TO EACH OTHER ╎
|
||
┋ <+hgc> YOU NEED TO SOLVE THIS MATH PROBLEM TO HELP THEM ┊
|
||
┗╾┉╍╌╍┉┄┈┅━┄─━╌╍┅┈╼┅┄╾╌━═┉═╌╼╾┅╍╌╼══┄┅━╍╍━╼┅╾┈╾┅═╌─╌═┉╾╍╾╌╾╍┄─┉╾╼─━╼┈╌━┈══┉┘
|
||
|
||
0x6 : aite fuck off now : sniff <thanks4readi.ng> @irc_chatter
|
||
┄━┄╍┅╼═══┈┈┄┅╌┈┉═─╾─╌╍┈╾╍╍┈┅╼═╾═┈─╾╾╌─╼╌╌╌┈═╼╍┅━╍╌━─━┄─╼─┄━┄╍┅
|
||
big fanks to everyone who wrote for #001. if u wanna help with #002 pls
|
||
join #scum.ltd or just hit me up wherever u see me chatting my chats.
|
||
i hope it is clear that i will publish literally anything i have no
|
||
no standards i do not care. bex wrote her bit before she had her most mental
|
||
breakdown so far and started dming me about my irl and all that WEIRD SHIT.
|
||
prolly wouldn't have given her the column inches had i known but i'm sure
|
||
i'm not the first man who regrets giving bex a few inches of column AAAAAAAA
|
||
AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaathankugoodnight
|
||
|
||
EOF
|
||
|
||
┍╼╼╾ rip Emi (1989-11-24 - 2020-10-21) ╍═╌┈ i will always remember how ━╼━┈╮
|
||
┋ ┃
|
||
╎ <Emi> sniff: I think you’re one of my favorites now ┊
|
||
┊ <Emi> sniff is my new favorite tho actually ┃
|
||
┇ <Emi> no sniff yer my favorite chatter ╎
|
||
┃ <Emi> sniff is my favorite chatter ┇
|
||
┇ ╽
|
||
╚╍┄━┄┈╾╼══╾═╾┄━─┄╍━┉╌╾ sniff was her favorite chatter ┄═┅┄┅┅━╍┉━┉╌─╍──┄━╍╼┈╜ |