266 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
266 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
Dear Friend: If you're insane, please take a moment and read this...
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Follow these directions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will receive
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over $50,000.00 cash - all yours! This program has remained successful
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because of the HONESTY and INTEGRIT/~~~~~~~~~~~~\cipants. Please keep
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its success by carefully ad/~~~~~~~ \ns. /~~~~\is NOT an
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illegal pyra/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O-BOY! YESSIREE!! ~~~~ /product is
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not sold or/ \a Mailing
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List that_/ You've gotten this in your mail, received it \ig bucks
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for qual/ by email, and seen it posted all over the Net! /l income
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which is\ /including
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in that l\ @: THE PONZI PYRAMID OF POWER!! :@ /s exactly:
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[1] Immed/ \mail $1.00
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to the fi\ The Inter-Con never quits! And five'll get \number 5,
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and send a\ you ten that most of these are being posted /your total
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investment/ by the SAME DUDE and all the first names you \ng "Please
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add my nam\ send your money to are really his drop-boxes /legitimate
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service th/ or "production associates"! After 6 years /s service).
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[2] Remov/ of chain-scamming, this BBS Bunko's gotta \ Move the
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other 9 n\ have more bucks than Scrooge McDuck!! \, and then
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number 3 w\ \your name
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and address\ He's probably the same shark who advertises, /er 10.
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[3] Post th/ "Earn tax-free income through Mail Order! /ition into
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ten(10) sep\ Send $20 for my Surprise Success Formula!" /o the file
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section, ca/ \ONEY.FAST.
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[4] Within/ Well, WE can play THAT game OURSELVES!! \0 in CASH!
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Keep a cop\ Yes, if you're a loyal lurker of this Group /again when
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you need m/ and all of its sundry crosspostings, this is \n you are
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automatic/ YOUR OPPORTUNITY to GET RICH NOW, and laugh /ending you
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$1.00 to \ in your sleeve all the way to the BANK!! /can then be
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rented the\ /ellow Pages
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for addit / Simple? You bet! Legal? Who cares! It \ become more
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valuable a\ slipped past the SysOp, and now it's YOURS!! \perfectly
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legal. If \______________________________________________/ refer to
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Title 18, Section 1302 & 1341 of the postal lottery laws, should the
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IRS or any other government agency question you. (EtcEtcBlahblah&Blah)
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------------------------------------------------------------------>8 cut
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Dear Fellow NewsGroup Reader... Are you sitting down?
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*> Well I hope you ARE, because THIS WILL KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET! <*
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YES!! The *REAL* SECRET to GETTING RICH NOW and MAKING BIG MONEY FAST
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is just another tippy-tap away on your computer keyboard's space bar!
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But...Do You Dare? ...What if "They" find out? Well, you really don't
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know me, so all I can do is ask for your Trust and Confidence, to just:
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==( TAP THE SPACE BAR )==
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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!IR$!FBI!CIA!JFK!CEO!NRA!TNT!UFO!ILLUMINATI!GOD!ZOG!KIBO!ATOMIC!GOLD!$!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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_ __/| -_- :::::====== MMMMMIMXMMMMRK$BS$$$mmMMMMX!!<<<<?MJ<MM!!!MJ
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\`O.o' :::::====== MMMMMMJMmmmmmM$$h$HmMM$8MMM<<<<<<!!M!MM!!!MJ
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=(_ _)= =========== MMMMMMMMMmmmmm$M$yKM!Y"" !<<~<<`?R!M~!!$MJ
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U \ =========== MMMMMM!MM*"~ !M9M9!!~ * >:! :~t%..!!$$!
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___\______ MMMMMM:MM:' * ~"M! .: -~~ :~: '!!$!!
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____[##########\_____ MMMMMMH!MxMX:XM!M$:<<:WM$$XHHX~ XX ;;!!?!M
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\/{oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo}\/ MMMMMMM<MMMJ8$MH9$!<!~?R$$R! !J ~ ;<!?:!!
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\o%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%o/ MMMMMMM!?MMM8$10 "" .:<MMM/ : <<<<WIZ
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---X---
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\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
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\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
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\_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \_/
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Oh WOW!! They're *ALL* watching NOW!! And probably RIGHT THROUGH YOUR
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MONITOR - which means, They are on YOUR SIDE! Paranoia is Your Friend!
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(And mine!! 8-D) For the moment. So ACT IMMEDIATELY!! And read fast:
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This is NO ACCIDENT! YOU have been selected by COSMIC FATE to receive
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this once-in-a-lifetime INVALUABLE POSTING! (Note: Please direct all
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your flames, complaints and legal actions to Cosmic Fate, Inc, RK Ent.)
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You MAY have seen hundreds of so-called Get Rich Quick schemes just in
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the past month alone. But this one is different! It is the _Latest_!!
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"Isn't a Chain Posting illegal?" Yes, but this is NOT a chain posting!
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It is the very FIRST posting -- therefore it CAN'T BE a chain, not yet!
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"But isn't a Net Ponzi/Pyramid scheme an illegal and prohibited fraud?"
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NO, it's only a fraud if you're promised something that never happens!
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Like, "no new taxes". I promise nothing, that I can deliver!! Except:
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_______________ _____ _______________
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!. /______________/\ `::: /_____\ :::' /\______________\ .!
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!:. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \ `:: ||||||| ::' / //////////////// .:!
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!::. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \ `: ||||||| :' / //////////////// .::!
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!:::. \\\\\_____\\\\\\/_ ` ||||||| ' / ///// /\______\ .:::!
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!::::. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\/_/\ ||||||| / ///// / //////// .::::!
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!:::::. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \ ||||||| / /////__\//////// .:::::!
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!::::::. \\\\\______\\\\\ \ ||||||| / /////______///// .::::::!
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!:::::::. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \ ||||||| / //////////////// .:::::::!
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!::::: \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/ ||||||| \//////////////// :::!
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!:::: :::!
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!::: /$$ /$$ /$$$$$$ /$$ /$$ /$$$$$$$ $$ /$$/$$ :::!
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!::: / $$$ /$$$ /$$__ $$ / $$$ / $$ / $$____// $$ /$$| $$ :::!
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!::: | $$$$ /$$$$ | $$ \ $$ | $$$$| $$ | $$ \ $$ /$$ | $$ :::!
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!::: | $$ $$/$$ $$ | $$ | $$ | $$ $$ $$ | $$$$$ \ $$$$ | $$ :::!
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!::: | $$ $$$| $$ | $$ | $$ | $$ $$$$ | $$__/ \ $$ |__/ :::!
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!::: | $$\ $ | $$ | $$ | $$ | $$\ $$$ | $$ | $$ :::w
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!::: | $$ \/ | $$ | $$$$$$ | $$ \ $$ | $$$$$$$$ | $$ /$$ :::i
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!::: |__/ |__/ \______/ |__/ \__/ |________/ |__/ |__/ :::z
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!::: :::!
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, :: __ __ __ $___________$ __ __ __ :: ,
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|\__ ///\///\///\/ \/\\\/\\\/\\\ __/|
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> _////////> ///\///\///\/ GET RICH NOW! \/\\\/\\\/\\\ -\\\\\\\\_ <
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|/ '~~ ~~ ~~ < > ~~ ~~ ~~` \|
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' :: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :: `
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!::: _____ k Guaranteed 100% every time! ___ :::!
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!::: \_@_/ // Safe when used as directed! __[___]__ :::!
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!::: {~._.~}// Never leave home, ever again! {~@=@~} :::!
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!::: ( ^ )// Lose 30 pounds in just 10 days! ( ^ ) :::!
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!::: ()~:~%R (That's $46 US, $237 Canadian) ()~*~() :::!
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!::: (_)-<|) Offer GOOD for life of this posting /(_)-(_)\_ :::!
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~
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Intrigued? Then follow these instructions EXACTLY: Press the Space Bar
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-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-
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-+<<<: OH WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! More Instructions!!!!! :>>>+-
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Do you constantly lose at Lotto? Throw craps every time? Always choose
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the slowest checkout line? Then YOU are PERFECT for this SPECIAL OFFER!
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But first -- let me ask you these mandatory routine self-help questions:
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........................................................................
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Do you want true financial independence and constant tax-free income?
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Do you want to be in a totally loving, mutually supportive relationship?
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Do you want to achieve states of pleasure previously unimaginable?
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Do you want to start sleeping with your SO, instead of your PC?
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Do you want to look better, feel better, run faster and jump higher?
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Do you want to cleanse all Karma, and tap into infinite creative power?
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Do you want to bring universal healing and happiness to all around you?
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Do you want the Secret of Secrets - the Answer to Your Greatest Dreams?
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Do you want to find a few of those unmarked bags of cash on the street?
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Do you want the total effect of 10,000 cups of coffee in one minute?
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Do you want to equalize things a little with an Evil Business Partner
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Do you want who embezzled over $100,000, then attempted to get a covert
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Do you want $1,000,000 insurance policy on your life, stole all of your
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Do you want property and your company, traded your lifework to a crooked
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Do you want distributor, then declared bankruptcy and moved to a secret
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Do you want location where he thought no creditor would ever find him?
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Do you want me to stop asking all this and get on to the Good Stuff???
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........................................................................
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If you answered YES to one or more of the above..WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!
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If you answered YES to the last half, then WE actually have even more in
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common! That's right! YOU could have your Own NetGroup!! (or just take
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MINE) Get flame-mail from EVERY imaginable CORNER OF THIS GLOBE! *YES*,
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YOU could do on your own computer for FREE, what others do for income!!
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__///////\ Why work like a slave for years, when /\\\\\\\__
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\\\\\\\/ you can get a cheap laugh in seconds! \///////
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"Well sure", you say, "That's fine! IN THEORY." But somehow, all that
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SEEMS to be straying from The Point -> The ASTOUNDING, STARTLING ANSWER
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that YOU have been WAITING FOR!! -- Which, of course, is just beyond:
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[==( HIT SPACE BAR NOW )==]
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Are you EXCITED!?! Are you JUMPING Up/and\Down WITH ANTICIPATION!?!?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>
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_______________________
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:::::::`:::::::.:`.____| |____,' .':;:::::::::::
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::::::::::.::.:.`. \ | OH FRABJOUS DAY!! | / ,',.:.::::.:::::::
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:::.::::.:::. - -- > |_______________________| < -- - ..:.::.::::.:
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:::::::::::.::.:,' /_______)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(_______\ `.::::.:.:::::.:::
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~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
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CONGRATULATIONS! You're a WINNER! And you certainly WANT this BRIDGE
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I'm selling! But it's MINE!! Though I'll TELL YOU how to GET YOURS!
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It's *Brilliant!* *Powerful!* *Success-Proven!* *Beta-Tested!*
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You may just win a GENUINE DIAMOND only a tenth smaller than this "."!
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Or a 42" COLOR TV cord! Or a fabulous TWO WEEKS IN NORWAY brochure!!
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Make thousands of dollars every hour, with a job at the US Treasury!
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You will earn $600,000 every day, just by being a Disney executive!!
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Tomorrow - YOU could have LOTS of other C00L and quasi-VALUABLE stuff!
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But HOW could I know all this -- unless...I'm PSYCHIC!! So LISTEN UP!!
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~~~~~~~
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I KNOW what you're thinking! "This must be some kind of sneaky, under-
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handed, Hollywood-hyped, flim-flam, rip-off scheme to separate Me from
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MY hard-earned SAVINGS!" But you're WRONG! It's NOT sneaky at ALL!!!
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It really IS the Perfect GET RICH Formula, which only I have discovered,
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and which I am passing its full SECRET *EXECUTIVE* KNOWLEDGE on to YOU!
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AHA! Now you're thinking, "WHY would he share his Power-System Secrets
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with a complete stranger??" That's a REAL GOOD QUESTION! ...Real good.
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Hmmm... NO, it hurts TOO MUCH to think about it, and that's why They're
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keeping me in the Soft Cell anyway! ...I think *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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<bounceBOUNCEfloppityBANGbounceWHAPbumpBAMBAMthumpetydumdumflop> <Woo.>
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"Doesn't that mean *I* have to think?" NO! ... It does NOT take a "Math
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Genius Rocket Scientist" to figure this out! Because it's THOUGHT-FREE!
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The fact that you're reading this should be proof enough! And if you're
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at all worried about getting SOMETHING THIS VALUABLE for NOTHING, rest
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assured -- IT IS WORTH IT!! ALL you need to do, is simply "GET a CLUE"!
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????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
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Finally! You can get RICH beyond your wildest hopes! HARD to beL.ieve?
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That's o-KAYE -- I didn't believe it myself! But look where I am now!!
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And so are 8850 others, from Zeiler Avenue to Arleta CA, 91331 in all!!
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In other words: *P*OWER! *E*XCITEMENT! *S*ATISFACTION! *T*HRILLS!
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*E*CSTACY! *R*OMANCE! *T*HERAPY! *H*APPINESS! *E*NTERTAINMENT!
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*C*OMPANIONSHIP! *R*ESPECT! *E*LOQUENCE! *E*XCELLENCE! *P*EACE!!
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I can't say it any plainer!!
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This really IS the *Secret* to GETTING RICH now!! Get what others have
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gotten! Help Yourself -- just like CFO's in major movie corporations!
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"But wait -- if I WIN, doesn't that mean somebody else has to lose?"
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Absolutely "NO"! Not if that "somebody else" never ever FINDS OUT!!
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This is a *SECRET FORMULA* - just like it said 5 lines back up there!
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S-E-C-R-E-T-! Just for US! Keep it that way! Nuff said! Sheesh!
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@==( PRESS SPACE BAR ONE LAST TIME! )==@
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________________________________________________________________________
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[__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__]
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_][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__]_]
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[__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__][__]
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Wake your neighbors! Phone your foes! You are now the One who Knows!
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...Just remember: THIS IS ALL TOP SECRET!!!! (`tis better that way ;)
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
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AT LAST! THIS is THE ANSWER! FORGOT the QUESTION? IT DOESN'T MATTER!!
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************************************************************************
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BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY!! BIG MONEY!!
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101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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Get a bigger monitor screen! Then hold a magnifier up to it!! Or get a
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video projector, and throw this on the wall! Then wait'll it gets dark
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and project it on the building across the street! Or up on the clouds!
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Yow!! Or get a real $100 bill, and scan it in sideways!! And no matter
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how big you make it, it'll have the same full monetary backing by the USA
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government that the actual Reserve Note has!!! But wait - there's more!
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Hit "Copy Block", then "Insert Block x100"...and MAKE MORE MONEY, as fast
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as You Can! And with no more effort or skill than a corporate executive!
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.........................................................................
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______________________________________________________________________
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| |
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| ==================================================================== |
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| |%/^\\%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{ Federal Reverse Note }%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&//^\%| |
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| |/inn\)===============------------------------===============(/inn\| |
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| |\|UU/ { UNITED STARES OF AMERICA } \|UU/| |
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| |&\-/ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~=====~~~~~~~~~~~ P8188928246 \-/&| |
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| |%//) ~~~_~~~~~ // ___ \\ (\\%| |
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| |&(/ 13 /_\ // /_ _\ \\ ~~~~~~~~ 13 \)&| |
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| |%\\ // \\ :| |/ ~ \| |: 3.21 /| /\ /\ //%| |
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| |&\\\ ((iR$)> }:P ebp || |"- -"| || || |||| |||| ///&| |
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| |%\\)) \\_// sge || (|e,e|? || || |||| |||| ((//%| |
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| |&))/ \_/ :| `._^_,' |: || |||| |||| \((&| |
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| |%//) \\ \\=// // || |||| |||| (\\%| |
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| |&// R265402524K \\U/_/ // series || \/ \/ \\&| |
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| |%/> 13 _\\___//_ 1932 13 <\%| |
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| |&/^\ Treasurer ______{ Frankly }_______ Secretary /^\&| |
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| |/inn\ ))--------------------(( /inn\| |
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| |)|UU(================/ ONE HUNGERED DOLLARS \================)|UU(| |
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| |{===}%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{===}| |
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| ==================================================================== |
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|______________________________________________________________________|
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Turn up the Green! Feel the screen! Ionic Energy at Your Fingertips!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Best of all, BEST OF ALL, you can use this *GRN* Formula on ANYTHING!!
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Poker, Roulette, Horses, Dogs, Snakes, Toads, Hollywood }:Producers --
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Yes, ANY picture you can put on this screen can be blown up, real big!
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Even that Bridge I mentioned back there! I'm talking Guided Imagery!!
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. , ..,
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:::;' /) - * - BIG DREAM Payoffs!! Again and AGAIN!! - + - (\ `::::
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::' / ) ':` ':` ( \_ `
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:' _( (_ _ First, make sure nobody is watching, who _ ) )\ />
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: (((\ \) /,) might contest Your Sanity. Then TOUCH / ) / //))/
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: (\\\\ \_/ / the Magic "Bob" Face in the center of \ \_/ ///// .
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:. \ / the ascii $100 on Your screen and SHOUT: \ / .:
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::. \ _/ . . \_ / .::
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::::/ / .:.* "TREMENDOUS TREASURES BEYOND COMPARE *:::. \` \.:::
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:::/ /.::::::.* WILL ALL BE MINE THIS HAPPY YEAR!" *.:::::::.\ \:::
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::/@\ /::::::::::.....................................:::::::::::\ \::
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[Hey - couldn't hurt. And if YOU receive OVER $10,000,000.00 in CASH in
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the next 60 days - remember to send me just 1% and I won't tell a Soul!]
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___________________________________________ __ ._`.*.'_._ ____ ____
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Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc . . + * .o o.* `.`. +. .
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Church of the Creative Spirit ' * . ' ' |\^/| `. * . * `
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jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu (: May All Your \V/ Good Dreams . +
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<& alt.fan.mike-jittlov> and Fine Wishes /_\ Come True:) .`.
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||
================================================ _/ \_ ============::::.*
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Yes! ^It's an actual Newsgroup (with 68,000 subscribers worldwide) &
|
||
haven to hyper-creative mega-crossposting! Tune in and lurk on! 8-D
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||
"Friends don't let Friends access InterNet" |