asciiart/h4x/arcaile/d'smom.txt

Are those d's momma tits, or did Laurel and Hardy leave her their heads?
Every time I pass your house, d's momma runs out and barks at me!
I just thought of something funny...d's momma.
I saw d's momma at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.
I seen d's momma downtown scrapping with a pigeon for a peanut.
I would have been yo'daddy but the damn dog beat me over the fence!
If ugly was bricks, d's momma would be the Empire State Building.
Let's get off the subject of d's momma...cuz i just got off yours.
Were you born that way, or did d's momma marry an armadillo?
Yo'daddy like cement, it takes him two days to get hard.
Yo'daddy so old, he was the promoter for David vs. Goliath.
Yo'dick is so small, it looks like you have a second bellybutton.
Yo'dick is so small, you pee on your nuts.
d's momma ain't so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!
d's momma armpits so hairy looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock!
d's momma armpits stink so bad, she made Speed Stick slow down!
d's momma arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
d's momma arms so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
d's momma ass so tight only the dogs can hear it when she farts!
d's momma breath so bad her teeth have asbestos caps!
d's momma breath so bad she be blowin' bubbles with Now & Laters.
d's momma breath so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
d's momma butt is so big, crack dealers say she's got enough already.
d's momma butt so hairy she has to part the crack to crap.
d's momma can wrestle a cow to the ground.
d's momma could only get a date with the Pillsbury dough boy.
d's momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
d's momma don't dance and your Daddy don't Rock and Roll.
d's momma drives a peanut.
d's momma ears are so big she drives the freeways by sonar!
d's momma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!
d's momma glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
d's momma glasses so thick, she could read my mind!
d's momma goes out takes a look at the menu and says "That'll do."
d's momma got a 'fro with warning lights.
d's momma got a bald head with a part and sideburns.
d's momma got a face like a bag of chisels.
d's momma got a face like a bag of smashed arseholes.
d's momma got a face like a blind cobbler's thumb.
d's momma got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.
d's momma got a face like a burglar's dog !!
d's momma got a face like a half-sucked mango
d's momma got a face like a welder's bench.
d's momma got a face like half a pound of smacked twat and a hairy pie.
d's momma got a face like the south end of a north-bound camel
d's momma got a glass eye with a fish in it.
d's momma got a leather wig with suede sideburns.
d's momma got a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
d's momma got a pussy on her hip so she can make money on the side.
d's momma got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
d's momma got a wooden leg with a real foot.
d's momma got a wooden leg with branches.
d's momma got a yeast infection so bad, she pisses biscuits.
d's momma got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
d's momma got an ass soo big she got to sh*t in a dumpster.
d's momma got eyeballs in her kneecaps & her name Neicee
d's momma got four eyes and two pair of sunglasses.
d's momma got green hair and thinks she's a tree.
d's momma got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator.
d's momma got lips on her ass, that's why she talks a lot of sh*t!
d's momma got more pricks than a pin cushion.
d's momma got no legs & her name Contsuelo
d's momma got snakeskin teeth.
d's momma got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!
d's momma got so many teeth missing it looks like her tongue is in jail.
d's momma got so much hair on her upper lip she braids it.
d's momma got three fingers and a banjo.
d's momma got three teeth...one in her mouth and two in her pocket.
d's momma got two wooden legs and one is one backward.
d's momma gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.
d's momma hair is so nappy, she rolls her hair with rice.
d's momma hair so nappy she has to take pain killers to comb it!
d's momma hair so nappy she rolls her hair with rice.
d's momma hair so nappy when she braided it they looked like stiches.
d's momma has a 'fro with warning lights.
d's momma has a glass eye with a fish in it.
d's momma has a short arm and can't applaude.
d's momma has a short leg and walks in circles.
d's momma has a wooden afro with an X carved in the back.
d's momma has an ass soo big she has to use a dumpster.
d's momma has green hair and thinks she a tree.
d's momma has no ears. I seen the bitch trying on sunglasses.
d's momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
d's momma head so big it shows up on radar.
d's momma head so big she has to step into her shirts.
d's momma head so small she got her ear pierced and died.
d's momma head so small she took a shower and got brain-washed.
d's momma head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.
d's momma hips so big people set their drinks on them.
d's momma hole so loose she can use a 747 as a dildo.
d's momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!
d's momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before going outside.
d's momma house so dirty the mice ride dirt bikes!
d's momma house so small her washcloth makes wall-to-wall carpeting.
d's momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
d's momma house so small the doormat just says "WEL"
d's momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
d's momma just like a TV remote: A 2 year old could turn her on.
d's momma just like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Everybody pokes her.
d's momma like a 10 Seater Bike: It take 10 people to move her ass.
d's momma like a 7-11: She's on every corner, and she's always open.
d's momma like a 7-UP: Never had it, never will.
d's momma like a bike: People constantly pumping away at her.
d's momma like a birthday cake: Everybody gets a piece.
d's momma like a bowling ball: You can fit three fingers in.
d's momma like a broken bubble gum machine: 25 cents gets it all.
d's momma like a bubble gum machine: 25 cents a blow.
d's momma like a bubble gum machine: Everyone gets a pop.
d's momma like a bus: Fifty cents and she's ready to ride!
d's momma like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.
d's momma like a catsup bottle: Everyone gets a squeeze out of her!
d's momma like a Christmas tree: Everybody hangs balls on her.
d's momma like a Coke machine: 50 cents a pop.
d's momma like a Denny's: Open 24 hours.
d's momma like a door knob: Everyone gets a turn.
d's momma like a garden: She's always gettin' planted.
d's momma like a goalie: Changes pads after three periods.
d's momma like a golf course: Everyone gets a hole in one!
d's momma like a horse: She's always gettin' mounted.
d's momma like a lamp post: She be on every street corner.
d's momma like a light switch: Even a little kid can turn her on.
d's momma like a McDonalds: over 52 billion served.
d's momma like a motorcycle: Couple kicks and shes roaring to go.
d's momma like a pack of bubble gum: 5 sticks for a quarter.
d's momma like a potato chip seller on 42nd street: "LAYS! LAYS!"
d's momma like a race car: She's always burning rubber.
d's momma like a railroad track: Gets laid all over the country.
d's momma like a refrigerator: Everyone likes to put their meat in her!
d's momma like a revolving door: Everyone gets a turn.
d's momma like a rifle: Four cocks and she loaded.
d's momma like a screen door: After a couple bangs she loosens up!
d's momma like a shotgun: One cock and she blows!
d's momma like a smokehouse: Always full of meat.
d's momma like a stamp: You lick her, stick her, then send her away.
d's momma like a stop sign: She's on every corner.
d's momma like a taxi: Constantly giving rides to strangers.
d's momma like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"
d's momma like a TV set: Even a three year old can turn her on!
d's momma like a vacuum cleaner: A real good suck.
d's momma like a video game: Four men for a dollar!
d's momma like an ice cream cone: Everyone gets a lick.
d's momma like an Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"
d's momma like Betty Crocker icing: Always ready to spread.
d's momma like cake mix: 15 servings per package!
d's momma like castlebury stew: Servings are family size.
d's momma like chinese food: Sweet, sour and cheap!
d's momma like Crazy Eddie: She practically giving it all away.
d's momma like Denny's: Open 24 hours.
d's momma like Domino's pizza: Something for nothing.
d's momma like Mcdonalds: What you want is What you get.
d's momma like mustard: She spreads easy.
d's momma like Nintendo: Now she's portable.
d's momma like potato chips: Flat, Greasy and Frito-Lay.
d's momma like the Pillsbury doughboy: Everyone gets a poke!
d's momma like the railway system: She gets laid all over the country!
d's momma like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man: Everybody gets a piece.
d's momma lips are so big she puts lipstick on with a paint roller.
d's momma lips so big Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
d's momma looks like a humor moderator.
d's momma mates out of season.
d's momma middle name is Rambo.
d's momma mouth so big she speaks in surround sound.
d's momma nails so long they're like Freddy Krugeur's.
d's momma nose so big she makes Pinocchio look like a cat!
d's momma nose so big she uses her boogers for bowling balls!
d's momma only got three teeth: One in her mouth and two in her pocket!
d's momma pubic hair is so nappy the crabs ride dune buggies.
d's momma pussy so dry the crabs carry canteens.
d's momma real nice: She'll give ya the hair right off her back!
d's momma referees bar fights without a shirt on.
d's momma said she liked seafood so I gave her crabs.
d's momma shoes so old when she step on gum she know the flavor.
d's momma smell so bad she made Right Guard turn to left!
d's momma smell so bad she made Speed Stick slow down!
d's momma smell so bad she uses Lysol for perfume.
d's momma smell so bad that not even a dog would go near her.
d's momma smell so fishy I can't believe it's not tuna!
d's momma smells so bad that not even a dog would go near her.
d's momma so backwards, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
d's momma so bald even a wig wouldn't help!
d's momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
d's momma so bald you can see whats on her mind
d's momma so big she's been given her own statehood.
d's momma so big she's on both sides of the family!
d's momma so big when she sweats people wear raincoats around her!
d's momma so boring she make Presidential speeches sound interesting.
d's momma so cheap she whored her way on to the metro.
d's momma so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.
d's momma so cross-eyed she dropped a dime and picked up two nickels!
d's momma so cross-eyed she watches TV in stereo.
d's momma so dark if she cut herself she would smoke!
d's momma so dark she can go to a funeral butt naked.
d's momma so dark she creates a eclipse.
d's momma so dark she farts soot!
d's momma so dark she spits chocolate milk!
d's momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!
d's momma so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
d's momma so dark the sun sends her a monthly bill.
d's momma so dark they die bowling balls in her bath water.
d's momma so dark when she got outta the car, the oil light went on!
d's momma so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.
d's momma so dumb, she asked for a price check at the $1.00 store.
d's momma so easy that Madonna get tips from her!
d's momma so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall!
d's momma so fat after sex she smokes a turkey!
d's momma so fat and old she fell down and created the Grand Canyon.
d's momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!
d's momma so fat cars run out of gas before passing yo mama's fat ass.
d's momma so fat don't have cellulite, she have celluHEAVY!
d's momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
d's momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
d's momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels she strikes oil!
d's momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
d's momma so fat her big toe got stuck in the catflap.
d's momma so fat her blood type's "Ragu."
d's momma so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.
d's momma so fat her butt looks like 2 pigs fightin' over Milkduds.
d's momma so fat her doctor's a grounds keeper.
d's momma so fat her driver license picture's continued on the back.
d's momma so fat her high school picture was an aerial photograph.
d's momma so fat her legs are like spoiled milk - white and chunky!
d's momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
d's momma so fat her nickname is "damn."
d's momma so fat her only pictures are satellite pictures.
d's momma so fat her picture fell off the wall!
d's momma so fat her tits are in two different time zones.
d's momma so fat her toes bleed when she walks!
d's momma so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
d's momma so fat I had to slap her thigh and ride the wave in!
d's momma so fat I had to walk around her and got lost.
d's momma so fat I took her to a dance and the band skipped.
d's momma so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
d's momma so fat if she weighed 5 more pounds she'd get group insurance.
d's momma so fat if she'd died you'd have to take her out in two trips.
d's momma so fat it takes a forklift to help her stand up.
d's momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass
d's momma so fat last time she went swimming she got harpooned.
d's momma so fat light gets stuck near her.
d's momma so fat McDonalds has to change their sign every time she eats.
d's momma so fat mosquitoes see her and scream buffet!
d's momma so fat NASA has a satellite orbiting around her!
d's momma so fat people ice skate on her toe nails.
d's momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.
d's momma so fat people use her dandruff as quilts.
d's momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
d's momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth.
d's momma so fat she been given her own statehood.
d's momma so fat she been mistaken for planet X.
d's momma so fat she bought 2-18 wheelers trucks to go in-line skating.
d's momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out!
d's momma so fat she can smell bacon frying in Canada!
d's momma so fat she can use Mt. Everest for a dildo.
d's momma so fat she can't even tie her own shoes!
d's momma so fat she can't make a leap of faith.
d's momma so fat she can't reach her back pocket.
d's momma so fat she can't walk home so she rolls home.
d's momma so fat she dressed up as a bouncy castle.
d's momma so fat she eats out of a satellite dish.
d's momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
d's momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
d's momma so fat she fell in love and broke it!
d's momma so fat she gets stuck in her dreams!
d's momma so fat she got a date with the Pillsbury dough boy.
d's momma so fat she got Amtrak written on her leg.
d's momma so fat she got Brighton stuck up her arse.
d's momma so fat she got her baby pictures taken by satellite.
d's momma so fat she got her own area code!
d's momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!
d's momma so fat she got hit by a truck and asked Who threw that rock?
d's momma so fat she got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
d's momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway.
d's momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
d's momma so fat she gotta' take two trips to haul ass!
d's momma so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
d's momma so fat she had stretch marks when she was a virgin.
d's momma so fat she had to get out of bed to roll over.
d's momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
d's momma so fat she has a part-time job as a trampoline!
d's momma so fat she has a run in her blue jeans!
d's momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
d's momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans.
d's momma so fat she has her own gravity.
d's momma so fat she has her own zip code.
d's momma so fat she has more rolls than a Mary Jane truck.
d's momma so fat she has shocks on her toilet seat.
d's momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets!
d's momma so fat she has to go outside to put on deodorant.
d's momma so fat she has to go outside to sit around the house.
d's momma so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
d's momma so fat she has to lay down to tie her shoe.
d's momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
d's momma so fat she has to use hoola-hoops to hold her socks up.
d's momma so fat she hides her goiter with her chin.
d's momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
d's momma so fat she influences the tides.
d's momma so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck.
d's momma so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck!
d's momma so fat she keeps her diagphram in a pizza box!
d's momma so fat she looks like a kangaroo with all the kids home.
d's momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!
d's momma so fat she needs a bookmark to find her chin.
d's momma so fat she needs a boomerang to put a scarf on.
d's momma so fat she on both sides of the family!
d's momma so fat she plays pool with the planets.
d's momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
d's momma so fat she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.
d's momma so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
d's momma so fat she runs on Diesel!
d's momma so fat she sat on a face at Mt. Rushmore and covered it!
d's momma so fat she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles.
d's momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
d's momma so fat she shaves her legs with a lawn mower.
d's momma so fat she shows up on radar.
d's momma so fat she sits on coal and farts out a diamond.
d's momma so fat she stands in two time zones.
d's momma so fat she stepped on a dime and picked up two nickles.
d's momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made skidmarks!
d's momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
d's momma so fat she steps on a scale and it goes: One at a time please.
d's momma so fat she takes baths in swimming pools.
d's momma so fat she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand.
d's momma so fat she thinks Church's Chicken's a holy place.
d's momma so fat she thought gravy was a beverage.
d's momma so fat she uses a mattress as a maxi-pad.
d's momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.
d's momma so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.
d's momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.
d's momma so fat she uses sheep for tampons.
d's momma so fat she uses the freeway as a Slip n' Slide!
d's momma so fat she wakes up in sections!
d's momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
d's momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
d's momma so fat she was born on the 4th, 5th and 6th of March!
d's momma so fat she was Miss Arizona - class Battleship.
d's momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
d's momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development.
d's momma so fat she wears a microwave for a beeper!
d's momma so fat she wears two watches because she's in two time zones!
d's momma so fat she went to "Butter Fat High" School.
d's momma so fat she went to the beach and sold shade!
d's momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
d's momma so fat she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair.
d's momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 95."
d's momma so fat she works in the movies - as the screen.
d's momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
d's momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
d's momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
d's momma so fat that when she cuts herself, she bleeds cottage cheese.
d's momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
d's momma so fat that whenever she burps, your dinner is ready.
d's momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her.
d's momma so fat the airline charges her round trip for each flight.
d's momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
d's momma so fat the bitch went to Kuwait to light a fag.
d's momma so fat the elastic in her underwear is used for bungee jumping.
d's momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear Caution! Wide Turn!
d's momma so fat the Himalayas are practice runs.
d's momma so fat the scale read, "Forget it."
d's momma so fat the zoo elephants started throwing her peanuts!
d's momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
d's momma so fat they invented super extra strength ultra SlimFast.
d's momma so fat they mistake her for a country.
d's momma so fat they use her eyelashes as wickets.
d's momma so fat they used her pussy as the Channel Tunnel.
d's momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons.
d's momma so fat to lose a few pounds she takes off her girdle.
d's momma so fat when a cop saw her he told her: Hey you two break it up!
d's momma so fat when her beeper goes off people think she's backing up.
d's momma so fat when I got on top of her my ears popped.
d's momma so fat when she back up she beep.
d's momma so fat when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too.
d's momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
d's momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
d's momma so fat when she falls it measures on the Richter scale!
d's momma so fat when she fell in love she broke it!
d's momma so fat when she fell over an' cut herself - gravy ran out.
d's momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says: To be continued.
d's momma so fat when she has sex she has to give directions!
d's momma so fat when she hoola-hoops, she looks like Saturn.
d's momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!
d's momma so fat when she lays down stunt men try to jump over her.
d's momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
d's momma so fat when she moons people they turn into Werewolves.
d's momma so fat when she moves the moon follows her.
d's momma so fat when she puts her foot down she clears rain forests.
d's momma so fat when she sings, it's over, it IS over!!
d's momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
d's momma so fat when she steps on a scale it read one at a time, please.
d's momma so fat when she sweats everyone around her wears raincoats!
d's momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th.
d's momma so fat when she turns around it's her birthday.
d's momma so fat when she walks in high heels she strikes oil.
d's momma so fat when she walks she leaves snail tracks.
d's momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
d's momma so fat when she wears her X jacket, helicopters land on her.
d's momma so fat when she wears red all the kids scream Kool Aid!
d's momma so fat when she's pissed, it looks like a tornado is coming.
d's momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
d's momma so fat when you put her in a jacuzzi she makes her own gravy!
d's momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
d's momma so fat you can slap her thighs and ride the waves in!
d's momma so fat you can't tell if she is coming or going.
d's momma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off of her.
d's momma so fat your family portrait has stretch marks.
d's momma so flat she's jealous of the wall!
d's momma so funky she puts ice in her panties to keep the crabs fresh!
d's momma so funky she slowed down speed stick.
d's momma so funky she sweats Black Flag!
d's momma so funky she used Secret and it told on her!
d's momma so funky when she goes for a walk cats follow her.
d's momma so generous she'd give you the hair off her back!
d's momma so generous that she would give all her money to a bum.
d's momma so greasy she sweats Crisco!
d's momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
d's momma so greasy Texaco buys oil from her.
d's momma so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of her!
d's momma so hairy her momma almost died of rug burn at birth!
d's momma so hairy she beats her chest after sex.
d's momma so hairy she got afros on her nipples!
d's momma so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.
d's momma so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
d's momma so hairy she played in Gorillas In The Mist.
d's momma so hairy she shaves with a weed whacker.
d's momma so hairy she uses a lawn mower to shave her armpits.
d's momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
d's momma so lightheaded when she jumps out the window she flies UP!
d's momma so nasty her Sure deodorant is now confused!
d's momma so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place.
d's momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off.
d's momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.
d's momma so nasty she gets drunk at communion.
d's momma so nasty she gets sour dough yeast infections.
d's momma so nasty she has to creep up on bath water.
d's momma so nasty she has two pussys and they both stink.
d's momma so nasty she made right guard turn left.
d's momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
d's momma so nasty she put on Secret deoderant and it told on her.
d's momma so nasty she uses drano to douche.
d's momma so nasty she was quarantined before she was born.
d's momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the Dead Sea.
d's momma so nasty skunks run from her.
d's momma so nasty sometimes people mistake her for a fishing boat.
d's momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape.
d's momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave.
d's momma so nasty they sell her crabs at the fish market.
d's momma so nasty when she goes for a walk cats follow her.
d's momma so nasty when yo'daddy ate her pussy he got food poisoning.
d's momma so nice she'd give me the hair off her back!
d's momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10.
d's momma so old even God calls her momma!
d's momma so old God said let there be light and she flipped the switch.
d's momma so old her ass is a cave for Indians.
d's momma so old her birth certificate expired!
d's momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
d's momma so old her birthday cake is a fire hazard.
d's momma so old her social security number is 1!
d's momma so old I told her to act her age, and the bitch died.
d's momma so old she be older than the wood her peg-leg was made out of.
d's momma so old she co-wrote one of the Ten Commandments.
d's momma so old she counseled Adam and Eve.
d's momma so old she D-J'd the Boston Tea Party!
d's momma so old she dreams in black and white.
d's momma so old she drove a chariot to high school!
d's momma so old she farts dust!
d's momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
d's momma so old she has Jesus and all the disciples in her yearbook.
d's momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
d's momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
d's momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
d's momma so old she played kick-ball with Jesus!
d's momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
d's momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
d's momma so old she sh*ts clay tablets.
d's momma so old she still owes Moses a quarter!
d's momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
d's momma so old she was Jesus' Wet Nurse.
d's momma so old she was there for the first day of slavery.
d's momma so old she went to Pizza Hut when it was only a teepee.
d's momma so old she wrote the foreword to the Bible!
d's momma so old she's blind from the Big Bang.
d's momma so old when she reads the bible she reminisces!
d's momma so old when she was in school there was no history class.
d's momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
d's momma so poor her face is on the front of a food stamp.
d's momma so poor I saw her fighting an ant for food.
d's momma so poor Jimmy Swaggart gives HER money.
d's momma so poor she bitches about high prices at Goodwill.
d's momma so poor she can't afford free cheese!
d's momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
d's momma so poor she catches fire flies for heat.
d's momma so poor she considers jail as a fancy hotel.
d's momma so poor she goes to KFC to lick other people's fingers!
d's momma so poor she married young just to get the rice!
d's momma so poor she was kickin' a can, and said she was "moving!"
d's momma so poor she went to McDonald's to put a shake on layaway.
d's momma so poor she wipes with both sides of the toilet paper.
d's momma so poor that Jerry Lewis sends her money.
d's momma so poor that when she wrote a check the whole bank bounced!
d's momma so poor the Somalians are sending her food.
d's momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
d's momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says DING!
d's momma so poor when your family watches TV, they go to Ed Kelley's.
d's momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard.
d's momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
d's momma so short she can bungee-jump off a curb!
d's momma so short she can play handball on the curb.
d's momma so short she does back flips under the bed.
d's momma so short she has to slam dunk her change on the bus!!
d's momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
d's momma so short she is the original Q-tip.
d's momma so short she jumped off a curb and commited suicide.
d's momma so short she models for trophies.
d's momma so short she plays racquet ball on a curb!
d's momma so short she pole vaults with a toothpick.
d's momma so short she trips on spit.
d's momma so short you can see her feet on her driver's license.
d's momma so skank she gets drunk at communion.
d's momma so skinny her nipples touch.
d's momma so skinny Sally Struthers sends her food!
d's momma so skinny she could go hang gliding on a Dorito!
d's momma so skinny she could hula-hoop through a Cherrio!
d's momma so skinny she could start a Weight Watchers in Ethiopia!
d's momma so skinny she got a run in her hose and she fell out.
d's momma so skinny she has to run around in the shower to get wet
d's momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
d's momma so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio
d's momma so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared.
d's momma so skinny she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.
d's momma so skinny she uses suspenders for panties.
d's momma so slutty I fucked her and I's a chick!
d's momma so slutty John Holmes just looked at her and got AIDS.
d's momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man.
d's momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
d's momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
d's momma so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive.
d's momma so slutty she has Trojan written on her gum line.
d's momma so slutty she is known as Homecoming Disease.
d's momma so slutty she swims after troop ships!
d's momma so slutty she wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!"
d's momma so slutty the bottom of her feet are suntanned.
d's momma so slutty whe would bend over backward for YOU.
d's momma so small she gotta hang glide on a Dorito.
d's momma so smelly that her sh*t is glad to escape.
d's momma so fat when she's pissed, it looks like a tornado is coming.
d's momma so stinky she can knock a buzzard off a sh*t wagon!
d's momma so stinky she make Right Guard turn left!
d's momma so stupid her brain cells are on the endangered species list.
d's momma so stupid her brain cells die ALONE!
d's momma so stupid I saw her in the frozen food section w/a fishing rod.
d's momma so stupid I saw her standing on an empty bus.
d's momma so stupid I told her it was chilly outside, she got a spoon.
d's momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg.
d's momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.
d's momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24 hour virus.
d's momma so stupid it take her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
d's momma so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
d's momma so stupid mind-readers charge her half-price.
d's momma so stupid she asked for a price check at the $1.00 store.
d's momma so stupid she asked for help to use hamburger helper.
d's momma so stupid she asked you: What is the number for 911?
d's momma so stupid she be missing a finger and can't count past 9.
d's momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
d's momma so stupid she called a 7-11 to ask when they closed!
d's momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
d's momma so stupid she called the cocaine hot line to order some.
d's momma so stupid she can't even spell `IQ'.
d's momma so stupid she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
d's momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
d's momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.
d's momma so stupid she dialed 911 for information.
d's momma so stupid she fell on her stomach and broke her back.
d's momma so stupid she gets lost in thought.
d's momma so stupid she got a bowl when told it was chilly outside.
d's momma so stupid she got fired from a blow job!
d's momma so stupid she got hit by a cup and told cops she got mugged.
d's momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!
d's momma so stupid she got left back in Romper Room.
d's momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
d's momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
d's momma so stupid she got stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
d's momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
d's momma so stupid she puts a ruler by bed to see how long she slept!
d's momma so stupid she returned a puzzle complaining it was broken!
d's momma so stupid she sat on a window ledge thinking she'd get framed.
d's momma so stupid she saw a sign that said Wet Floor so she did!
d's momma so stupid she shaves off her hair to wear a toupee.
d's momma so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch!
d's momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
d's momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
d's momma so stupid she stole free bread.
d's momma so stupid she think innuendo is an Italian suppository.
d's momma so stupid she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
d's momma so stupid she thinks manual labor is a Mexican!
d's momma so stupid she thinks socialism means partying!
d's momma so stupid she thought a beaver dam was a type of tampon.
d's momma so stupid she thought a hot meal is stolen food.
d's momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
d's momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was change.
d's momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.
d's momma so stupid she thought Lionel Riche was a kid with trians.
d's momma so stupid she thought menopause was a button on the stereo.
d's momma so stupid she thought O.J. Simpson some kind of fruit juice.
d's momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on soul Train.
d's momma so stupid she thought softball was a venereal disease!
d's momma so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
d's momma so stupid she thought Taco Bell was where to pay a phone bill.
d's momma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler."
d's momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
d's momma so stupid she took a job cutting grass offshore.
d's momma so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl.
d's momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
d's momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
d's momma so stupid she tried to hang her self with a cordless phone.
d's momma so stupid she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
d's momma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!
d's momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
d's momma so stupid she went swimming to a car pool.
d's momma so stupid she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
d's momma so stupid she went to a gunfight armed with a knife.
d's momma so stupid she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
d's momma so stupid she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel.
d's momma so stupid she wrote `M, F, sometimes Wed' under "SEX?"
d's momma so stupid that she go hit by a parked car.
d's momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
d's momma so stupid that she tried to go swimming in a car pool.
d's momma so stupid the bitch bought a glass door with a peep-hole.
d's momma so stupid the retarded kids make fun of her.
d's momma so stupid when she counts to ten she get stuck at 11.
d's momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
d's momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
d's momma so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
d's momma so tall she did a cart wheel and kicked God in the chin.
d's momma so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
d's momma so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.
d's momma so toothless it takes her an hour to eat minute rice!
d's momma so ugly a fly wouldn't sit on her.
d's momma so ugly Dairy Queen doesn't even treat her right.
d's momma so ugly even ALIEN face huggers run away from her!
d's momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
d's momma so ugly everytime I see her I get a soft-on.
d's momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
d's momma so ugly her dentist treats her by mail!
d's momma so ugly her doctor is a Vet.
d's momma so ugly her face is closed on weekends!
d's momma so ugly her face is like a melted willy.
d's momma so ugly her momma had to be drunk to breast feed her.
d's momma so ugly her momma had to feed her with a sling shot.
d's momma so ugly her nickname is Damn!
d's momma so ugly her teeth look like dice.
d's momma so ugly her vibrator turned limp!
d's momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
d's momma so ugly I wouldn't |=/////> her with a stolen dick.
d's momma so ugly I've seen cow pies I'd rather do it with.
d's momma so ugly if she joined an ugly contest they'd say: Sorry, no.
d's momma so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!
d's momma so ugly it looks like she sleeps on a bed of nails face down!
d's momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
d's momma so ugly she can turn Madusa to stone.
d's momma so ugly she could curdle urine.
d's momma so ugly she could gag a maggot on a gutwagon.
d's momma so ugly she could make a freight train take a gravel road.
d's momma so ugly she could scare a dog off a meat truck.
d's momma so ugly she could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck.
d's momma so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
d's momma so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!
d's momma so ugly she enlisted in the Cavalry, and they shoed her.
d's momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
d's momma so ugly she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares!
d's momma so ugly she had a face that would sink a thousand ships.
d's momma so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breast feed it!
d's momma so ugly she had to sneak up on a glass of water.
d's momma so ugly she had to wear two bags in case one breaks.
d's momma so ugly she has to get her vibrator drunk first.
d's momma so ugly she has to pay a rapist for sex.
d's momma so ugly she has to sneak up on a hurricane to catch a breeze.
d's momma so ugly she has to sneak up on her mirror.
d's momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.
d's momma so ugly she just got a job at the airport sniffing for drugs.
d's momma smell so bad that not even a dog would go near her.
d's momma so ugly she looks like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.
d's momma so ugly she looks like she's been bobbing for French fries!
d's momma so ugly she looks like the elephant man chewing on a wasp.
d's momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
d's momma so ugly she loses to Jabba the Hutt in a beauty contest!
d's momma so ugly she made a happy meal cry.
d's momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
d's momma so ugly she make a freight train take a dirt road.
d's momma so ugly she make my ass pucker.
d's momma so ugly she makes *YOU* look good!
d's momma so ugly she practices birth control by leaving the lights on!
d's momma so ugly she puts on her makeup in the dark!
d's momma so ugly she scare a buzzard off a gut wagon.
d's momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
d's momma so ugly she the cover girl for iodine.
d's momma so ugly she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out.
d's momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
d's momma so ugly she uglier than a mudpie fence.
d's momma so ugly she walked past a mirror and it exploded.
d's momma so ugly she won't even play with herself!
d's momma so ugly she wore a pork chop to get the dog to play.
d's momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
d's momma so ugly that her doctor treats her by mail.
d's momma so ugly that she makes the Ugly Duckling look beautiful!
d's momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
d's momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life.
d's momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
d's momma so ugly the tide won't even take her out!
d's momma so ugly they changed her name to DAAAAAAAAAMN.
d's momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
d's momma so ugly they only wanted her feet for the freak show.
d's momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
d's momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
d's momma so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
d's momma so ugly they threw her away and kept the after birth!
d's momma so ugly they used her in prisons to cure sex offenders!!
d's momma so ugly when a baby, she was breast fed through a straw!
d's momma so ugly when a child, she had to be fed with a slingshot!
d's momma so ugly when I first saw her, my momma was nauseous.
d's momma so ugly when she cries the tears run up her face.
d's momma so ugly when she goes to the beach the tide won't come in!
d's momma so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
d's momma so ugly when she walk by the bathroom the toilet flushes.
d's momma so ugly when she walk into a bank they turn the cameras off!
d's momma so ugly when she was born her incubator windows were tinted.
d's momma so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her momma!
d's momma so ugly when she went to jump in the lake the lake jumped back!
d's momma so ugly yo'daddy rather kiss her ass than look in her face.
d's momma so ugly you could tell the face only 'cuz it had ears.
d's momma so ugly zookeepers said thanks for bringin' the bitch back!
d's momma so weak she had to fight the current in the bath tub.
d's momma so weak she had to fight the wind in the Metronome.
d's momma so white she makes albinos look dark.
d's momma so white when she lies in the snow naked she disappears.
d's momma so wrinkled she has to screw her hat on.
d's momma stinks so bad she uses lysol for perfume.
d's momma such a wonderful person & we are blessed that God created her.
d's momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
d's momma teeth are so yellow, she spits butter!
d's momma teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles!
d's momma teeth so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
d's momma teeth so yellow she can butter a whole loaf of bread!
d's momma teeth so yellow she can see in the dark!
d's momma teeth so yellow when she close her mouth her stomach lights up.
d's momma teeth so yellow when she yawns traffic slows down!
d's momma thighs are so big she needs hula hoops to hold up her socks.
d's momma threw a frisbee three weeks ago that hasn't landed yet.
d's momma throat so tough she could gargle peanut butter!
d's momma twice the man you are.
d's momma was in church with a tee-shirt on that said "WHO FARTED?"
d's momma waves around a pop sickle stick and calls it air conditioning.